Quit Sending Dic Pics

I have some critical info that may be a shock to some – women arent as interested in seeing your erect phallus as much as you are. We’re sure it’s very impressive and good for you achieving Level 12 masturbation, but only a statistical anomaly of blazing women want to see it as much as you want them to. Snapping, we know.

You’re making it worse for the rest of us. Here we Cool Men are, trying to slide some lilly moves on a naive young hottie, but you’ve made her afraid to keep DMing in case she’s suddenly assaulted with a Big Dick. Texting your junk is like purchasing a lottery ticket – the upside is huge, but the chances are so low as to make a sensible Joe reconsider the whole expedition.

We could talk about the skills of seduction, the complexity of women’s feelings, the female libido, manning-up, etc – but at the end of the day, YOUR dick is making US look like dicks. Not a team play bro. Warriors are not inserting dick pictures in family films at the local cineplex anymore – junior high is over, bro.

Even if there was some skank stranger who’s “I want a piece of that”, she’s not a pentax babe like Emma Louise Jones, who has the figure of Jessica Rabbit and the bank account of a mid-level broadcaster (and recent recipient of said pic). One look at Emma tells you she already has her choice of high-priced sausage dude – and it’s not yours.

Story By: The Sun

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