What’s French for “Karen”?

Some Feminists are easier to identify than others: can anyone look at the picture of Pascale Cecile Veronique Ferrier – who’s accused of sending poisonous substance to Trump and others – and say, that’s a happy, supportive person who enjoys chilling with men?

The Feminist movement may have had some merit once – we’re thinking mid-70s – but now it’s populated with bitter, unfulfilled, delusional women who assume Men are responsible for their ignorance and lack of direction. Key traits include a strong sense of unearned entitlement, self-righteous behavior, and hatred for any man who impedes them, whether lawful or not.

Which fit domestic terrorist Ferrier, who’s going back to jail in Texas bc patriarchy (and she tried to kill a few peeps), and good luck finding a sympathetic ear for your liberal cause there Karen.

You can read her letters to understand why this misguided pab qualified for the femista army, as she’s 1) disorganized 2) uses butchered English and 3) thinks she’s funny when she’s sarcastic. This self-proclaimed “Free Rebel Spirit” would be quick to support arson and torture if it served their Greater Purpose.

And finally, and obviously – why do militant feminists never look like Cameron Dove or Megan Fox (or Rose McGowan)? Not that we’re questioning her sexual orientation, but if you Google the phrase “lesbian criminal”, her mug-shot would make the top 10.

People from all over the world send threatening letters to the US president – it takes a special person to feel they are justified in doing so. This Karen wants to kill the Manager.

Story by CBS

Let’s Not Get Carried Away

Congrats to Vanderbilt place-kicker Sarah Fuller, who kicked at PAT in a “Power 5” college football game on Saturday. It’s a testament to how far women athletes have come that she can compete in a nationally broadcast football game.

Also, as Big Media is afraid to say, she’s the substitute kicker for the 0-9 Commodores, a team who rarely scores and wouldn’t put her on the field except for the Stupid Virus. She wasn’t the first, second, or third choice for the position, and although she can kick a (soccer) ball a shton, she’s also not the first woman to play collegiate men’s football.

Among the plays that Miss Fuller didn’t provide, that are typically expected in a football game: running with the ball, passing the ball, blocking, tackling, running a route, hiking the ball, catching a ball … and so-on. Maybe she brought her own tee.

Not sure how to say this without sounding like an asshole, but “I just want to tell all the girls out there that you can do anything you set your mind to” is misleading. That would be an Incorrect Answer on an SAT exam (depending on how Liberal colleges get) for a number of reasons, the most pertinent being on the aforementioned football field, where no-one born female has ever tackled, thrown, run, blocked, or caught a football in a “Power 5” game.

Until they stop keeping score on Crimson Tide games and Vegas loses interest in betting on sports, reality will dictate that women will struggle to play football, basketball, hockey, etc. at a professional level. (Notice we didn’t say “baseball” – not sure how those doughboys get millions to stand around for 90% of the game). There are some impressive soccer-playing women on the pitch nowadays, but last I checked the Premier League, Bundesliga, La Liga, MLS … you get what we’re pitching (pun!).

Tell your daughter / niece / first crush that she will achieve great things and she should practice hard and kick ass across Hell’s Half-Acre – but maybe setting her mind to be starting linebacker in the Superbowl can be Plan B.

Story by CBS Sports

Slut Gets Paid

Here’s a story we all need to get behind – New York paramedic Lauren Kwei has been outed as an OnlyFans contributor, looking to supplant her meager healthcare income; and subsequently the New York Post is accused of slut-shaming her for doing so. There are two immutable, eternal truths at play here: 1) the New York Post slings shit, and 2) women can get paid for removing their clothes.

TGFSF that we live in a world where liberated biddies can survive based on hard-work, training, and the propensity to pose naked. (I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to live in a world where that wasn’t possible.)

It would suck if we westerners had to force someone attractive to shovel snow, hand out hamburgers, or clean Motel 6’s – seriously. It could be a lot worse – outside of these Blessed United States, pover women have resorted to prostitution, drug peddling, or inflaming self-righteous liberals on social media just to earn enough money to eat rice.

It should be obvious that OnlyFans is like the Salvation Army for hot zeldas – they are doing society a favor by allowing this outlay of donations to the poor babes, and we in turn are saving these smoking waifs from a life of poverty or degradation or worse.

This Christmas season, give a moment to think about the hard-working paramedics that are saving this country from ruin, and sign-up at your local OnlyFans site. Or go to her GoFundMe page – It’s the everett thing to do.

Story by The Wrap

Brooke Henderson Is the Answer

We Men spend too much time judging a woman by her physical portfolio instead of her financial one – as you get older, you become more interested in getting your hands on her Bitcoins as opposed to other assets (tee-hee). Unlike her presently perky puppies, your gf shares in Tesla or Apple will always go up.

The obvious solution is to find both, and thus we turn to golf goddess Brooke Henderson. When she tees off at the US Open this weekend, keep her LPGA earnings in mind when you watch her flade into the clubhouse.

We all know who Paige Spiranic is, and Instagram is littered with “professional golfers” like Genevieve Madison and Eleonora Incardona whose swing looks like a constipated gorilla holding a hockey stick. Follow if you must, but what happens when their Gram followers drop as they turn into Madonna?

Henderson is caf, rich, ambitious, and athletic – well, as athletic as golfers get e.g. she’s not gonna out-bench Serena. She’s Canadian, so she knows what suffering is, and her stroke will keep her on the tour for years. She may be the Most Desirable Woman on the planet.

We don’t want some self-obsessed Kardashian who sleeps all day and can’t drive a stick – give us someone who gets up early and makes a healthy breakfast. I’d be like “what can I do to keep you making bank – rub your shoulders? Fly with you to Phoenix to practice your swing?” I don’t care if she can hit the ball 100 yards farther than me – if doing the dishes means your hands can sink a 40 ft putt for a quarter million, give me an apron.

Wendy Williams is Better Than Us

I hope someday to have enough money and ego to produce a biopic on myself – just like “Wendy Williams: The Movie” (no really, that’s the title). Normally Hollywood waits until famous people are dead – or a least worthy – before lionizing them on celluloid, but Williams figured, who better to tell the world how wonderful she is than her?

My biopic would be similar to hers, tracing my journey from humble beginnings to East Coast stardom, casting someone attractive as me, and several budding models as those who broke our hearts through the years. The story is full of loss and redemption, but her’s would be rife with emotional poverty, as opposed to my actual poverty. We’ll both skip the unsavory parts – like when I set a hobo on fire, dabbled in heroin, or got beat up for saying shocking, truthful things – just like Williams. Those things just don’t make for good television anyway.

There’s no doubt her egoboo will feature a heroic and insightful recovery from (minor) drugs, victories over sexist / racist / greedy detractors, and the shame of once voting Republican. Producers are no-doubt thankful for past photogenic moments where Williams wore wearing low-cut blouses while on radio, shocked professional athletes, and fainted while dressed as the Statue-of-Liberty; that’ll help give the fictional bits more weight.

Because producing a movie on your life story is the best way to show William’s life has been Well Lived, while yours and mine are nerpy. It’s important for us subordinates to realize how she too has overcome suffering – e.g. once her stylist put her wig on crooked – but I bet her TV classmates won’t have facial cars or needle marks like yours and mine. Through close-ups, and rising music, a braw actress representing Williams will humbly illustrate her triumphs and unfaltering success – my most exciting moment is once getting free fries at Burger King.

In the future, should Wendy die in a tragic yachting accident, they can add a new ending with cut scenes of a nation morning, soft piano music, and an angelic Williams looking down on us mortals – featuring a younger, firmer version of herself or course.

STORY from TheWrap

Hollywood Signals Left, Cashes in on the Right

One thing is for certain in the new Hollywood paradigm – diversity, inclusion, and non-judgemental stories are the future for movies, television, and video-games. The filming industry in particular – movies, TV, streaming – is kicking successful productions that celebrate LGBTQ-nicity, BLM, feminism, and whatever cause-dujour Big Media is currently outraged about.

Except it’s not, and Variety, for one knows that – check their report on the top 20 “entertainment franchises”, from surveys of 350K assumedly normal people. There’s some obvious bank here: “Avengers”, “Stranger Things”, “Star Wars” (well, “The Mandalorian”), more superheroes; if you skim down the list looking for the thick popularity of woke films blowing fashionable social causes … keep scanning.

There’s a white male NRA wet-dream (“John Wick”), an eastern-European infused fantasy (“The Witcher”), and a smart-ass Canadian pretty boy (“Deadpool”). Sure there’s “Black Panther” and “Black Widow” (not related harhar), and if you squint at them hard enough you might see something other than Another Superhero Movie – but for some reason 2017 Best Picture “Moonlight” isn’t on the list.

WWTDD is happy to support shows featuring diverse genders, skin colors, and sneaky progressivism; maybe even a pinch of liberal wish-fulfillment (e.g. “Avatar”). And yes, Rich White Men have run Hollywood for too long e.g. we could use more Bela Bajaria (Google).

With the left hand Hollywood servers gender fluidity and liberal outage, and with its right it’s red meat sprinkled with white privilege. Guess which hand turns the most tricks.

Story and List via VARIETY

How about 67 pics of Scarlett Johansson from our Archive to celebrate the Avengers being the most WOKE, or watched movie of the year.

How to Transition, by E. Page

Here’s some pointers to consider before you undertake a gender transition:

1. Announce on Instagram

2. Choose a cutesy name that coyly reflects your birth name; bc although transitioning to another gender is the most important decision in your life, and has a drastic impact on the lives of your family and friends, that doesn’t mean it can’t be ironic and fun

3. Underline your newfound masculinity by wearing a trucker hat

4. Let your employers know that you expect to return to the roles you held before the transition – even if you were hired for a particular appearance or skill-set that you’ve now lost (e.g. the ability to appreciate women’s basketball). You’re making a big change in your life, it’s only fair that the world changes itself around you

5. Tell everyone how happy you are – as opposed to any happiness you previously expressed through years of social media, rocking a different gender, which apparently wasn’t TRUE happiness, but now it is

6. Reinforce how discrimination for your new gender, or the transition itself, is rampant so you are instantly victim and potential savior to your new tribe

Because nothing says you stand for something like whining about it on the day you land. Maybe it’s like coming out as a Browns fan, that you feel the need to apologize and conversely throw-down with any detractors the moment you convert.

There must be a way to do this with grace and humility, but that may be too much to ask of an attention-seeking solipsist. The Wachowskis transitioned without a press release, and if the 4th Matrix movie she’s directing is even half as good as the first, no-one will give a ff whether she sits or

Miley Cyrus Ripsoff Video, Career

There is no surprise that Miley Cyrus’s new video is a ripoff of someone else’s (according to The Daily Mail) – so is her whole career. Her pop culture footprint is now in a state of deep imitation and shock, where she needs other singers (Dua Lipa) and other’s videos to stimulate her fanbase.

What kind of musical star is Cyrus? Whatever sells. First father Billy-Ray hooks her up with his Nashville hitmakers, and she’s a twangy Country girl; then she needs something inspirational on her resume, so it’s “The Climb”. Then pop, then shock, then Dolly Parton soundalike (or was that her sister?), whatever the market demands. Rolling Stone says she’s “channeling” Stevie Nicks – over in the creative world, Jay-Z won’t let Beyonce “channel” shit.

Now Cyrus is copying Grimes 4 years on, and “channeling” indie European videos to reinforce the spectacle. Every dollar you spend on Miley is a dollar spent stomping originality. At least Dad had the balls to prop up that gay black guy (and by-golly that provided a long overdue bitchslap to Country music).

We blame YouTube and TikTok, where IP is a speedbump and the line between homage and scam is unknowable. Rich musicians are meant to be copied, right – just a bit crook to see it done by other rich musicians like Cyrus.

Look for her to embrace K-POP next, and remold herself again bc artistic parasite. Who is the true Miley? The question can be answered this way – what’s trending on Spotify?

Story from EGOTASTIC

Virtual Signalling and Oscar

WWTDD has ragged on for years – her acting accolades, her “conscious uncoupling”, her vaginal Goop – so why stop now?

Other than lucking into a sweet role on Marvel’s Iron Man / Avengers juggernaut (and one wonders why as wife to the Main Character she appears so infrequently in the sequels – just saying), her Hollywood cred is based on an unbelievable role filmed 22 years ago in “Shakespeare in Love”. Has anyone woke remarked that the movie was financed, cast, and marketed by the now-evil Weinstein corporation?

That she won the Academy Award for Best Actress in 1999 still leaves a mark for some – e.g. Glenn Close, the slightly wacky but continuously employed actress who has yet to grace the Oscar stage by walking up the steps. Close told ABC News the coty “doesn’t make sense”, and a peek at the list of losers backs her up. If hard-to-spank Close can see the truth about Paltrow’s skill-set (what did we say about awards shows being corrupt?), it sb obvious to all.

The Right Thing To Do – and remember, Hollywood likes to signal this by race, color, gender, queerosity, and Kirsten Stewart – would be to return the trophy. “Shakespeare in Love” was enabled by a serial RAPIST, and flogged as an Oscar favorite thanks to backroom dealings by the same CONVICTED RAPIST.

It’s easy for someone like Tiger to return one of his Masters jackets when he has so many – but if you’ve only been shined up once, like Paltrow, it’s hard to pull it down off the mantle.

The Wrap

Shocker: Awards Shows Are Corrupt

The Weeknd – the person, not the grammatical error – is grousing that he wasn’t nominated for a Grammy Award, because he’s great, he’s popular, he showers often, blah blah blah. Fellow musicians who are looking to boost their profile have blazed in, suggesting he was robbed for being snubbed – or maybe he was snubbed bc he was robbed?

Abel Makkonen Tesfaye (now you know why he has a stage name) went so far as to suggest “the Grammy’s remain corrupt” – who knew? He also said the sun will rise in the east tmrw morning – another shocker!

You mean to tell us that of the 6 million songs that are released in a year on radio, streaming, YouTube, pirated, and busked in Times Square, they aren’t all fairly reviewed based only on artistic merit? That may be, in a slap to the face of bald talent and vocal juice, that songs, albums, videos, and even spoken word (the last bastion of pure artistic output!) – may be judged based on popularity, money, and whether the singer is a preening twit or not? (Well that last bit doesn’t explain why Maroon 5 gets nominated.)

Young Abel just got educated in the ways of Los Angeles, where it’s not all limos and ice-cream and screaming young girls, and perhaps the Canadian crooner needs to punk out in his 5-star studio or northern mansion to rethink plans to stay on top.

Or he can man up and say fukit to the whole thing, bc his royalties could buy a small European country (like one of the shitty eastern ones). Don’t whine Mr. Weekend – write a song about how you’ve been unfairly burnt and watch it hit #1 on Billboard – rolling around on stacks of money Scrooge McDuck style is the way to exact revenge on those nasty Grammys!

How about a huge gallery of BELLA HADID since they dated multiple times!

Story Via US MAGAZINE