Lil Nas Fires His Load

March 30, 2021 | Celebs | Media Man |

There’s a danger to letting a spunky teenager loose on the pop culture landscape with lotsa dough and a social justice tailwind, and this year his name Montero Lamar Hill aka Lil Nas X.

Yes it was fun and shaky and a bit cute that this poor black kid could write a country earworm, and Hollywood’s rich uncles like Chris Rock and Billy Ray Cyrus grabbed the reins. “Old Town Road” had 1-Hit-Wonder written all over it, no matter how many potato chip commercials it underpinned.

But those salty snacks and the music industry’s everlasting greed gave Nas (X?) the E-ticket to artistic expression – so naturally he indulges in double-gay, demonic, “try and guess if I’m joking” song and video, featuring Bad Words that people of other races and sexual preferences are forbidden to regurgitate. He’s also selling high-priced shoes (of course) with Satan and bible verses and human blood. The Anti-Kayne, but with the same clothing supply chain.

Lil Nas is pushing the envelope under the guise of Young Black Gay Empowerment, and the liberal woke will buy his griz bc edgy and famous.

It’s our fault really – like giving junior the keys to the car before he’s ready – there’s gonna be a shovel-full of “I told ya so” from Country fans now.

Story By: HuffPost


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Female Enabler Gets a Pass

March 30, 2021 | Celebs | Media Man |

SOS Harvey Weinstein has a new sexual assault accuser to add to the pile – C-level starlet Hayley Gripp got thrown at the Weinburger in 2012, and claims to have scratched his balls with a broken nail mid-rape. If only she had grabbed a pair of scissors while failing, she would have saved a lot of women and the District Attorney a shitton of grief.

But once again, lost in the story of Weinstein the grody pig is the woman enabler that “lured her up there” and “stood guard” while this manatee hauled himself atop Gripp. This fits similar stories of a female scout that tags impressionable / stupid / innocent women who think the sprint to the top is achieved with your feet in the air (hey, it worked for Pamela Anderson). Regardless of how they got into the position with this grease-stain, it was always a Sister that did the ground work.

If this was a case of murder and not rape – and we hope his cellmate grows a pair and makes it both – this accomplice would be charged with a felony. Instead, we can’t even get a name for any of these bitches, who are surely busy working their defensive stance just in case. (They can see what’s happening to Ghislaine Maxwell).

We wonder what would happen if these enabling birddogs were men instead of women?

Story By: TMZ

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Gray Lives Matter

March 26, 2021 | Celebs | Media Man |

Director Joss Whedon is a sexist pig and abusive bully, called a “human dumpster fire” and “gross” by Big Media. He’s also shipped 2 of the biggest movies of all time and launched a half dozen profitable TV franchises. He’s either dickward or bankster – can’t he be both?

The number of actresses who’ve looted Hollywood thanks to Wheddon is dwindling next to the supposedly growing list of victims – so it’s a bit surprising and derpy that someone has defended this jackass. “The Nevers” star Laura Donnelly forgot to check with her PR team before stating she had a “wonderful experience with working with” Whedon – something you’d expect “Buffy” Sarah Michelle Gellar or “Dollhouse” star Eliza Dushku to shout.

Cancel Culture warriors would like us to believe that all southerners are racist, all women are believable, and all dogs go to heaven; that there are far less than 50 Shades of Gray (without the whips).

But like all big name directors (James Cameron, Michael Bay, David Fincther, Patty Jenkins) Whedon is not 100% monster. The Woke don’t want the Easily Outaged to do the numbers, bc once they realized that 1000s of people of all color and genders and religions worked with Whedon to massive success, it means many were blind to what an asshat Whedon was; or the Hollywood that Big Media lives in is morally bankrupt.

Story By: The Wrap

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BLM 1 NFL 105

For those of us who thought the NFL would wilt under the pressure of BLM, victims abuse allegations, poor attendance, Deflategate, Megan Rapinoe, etc – wrong. The National Football League has quietly announced – well, as quietly as anything that happens in football-crazy USA – that starting in 2023, the major networks NBC, CBS, ABC/ESPN, and Fox, along with Amazon Prime (and whatever internet billionaires are looking to throw some scratch around) will pay $105 billion for TV rights until 2033.

I’m not an investment banker, but I think I could run a successful business on $10bill / year.

No amount of kneeling, arrests, drunk-driving, and cheating has stopped millions of Americans from tuning in every week to see which millionaires can win a 60-minute game. It’s capitalism at its best baby, and Big Media can piss down racism and virus and outrage all they want, but back in the Real World fans are pleading with the NFL to take their money.

In summary – 32 NFL owners are rolling on stacks of benjamins Scrooge McDuck style, avoiding jail from massage parlor visits bc rich (e.g. Robert Kraft), while Colin Kapernick is eating soup from a can.

Story By: Bloomberg

Powerpuff Women

There’s two ways to look at the announcement that a live-action version of the PowerPuff girls is headed into production (according to The Hollywood Reporter) – first, the cringeworthy way the series will be promoted as fun and female-empowerment and other Woke crap. Secondly, we may get to see more of Dove Cameron in tight clothing, and that has little downside.

First things first – we wonder how the agents of Cameron, Chloe Bennett, and Yana Perrault pitched this idea to them – nostalgia? Empowering a new generation of impressionable young girls? Money? Bc the sad fact is that the best actress for the job needs to demonstrate nuclear-level cuteness, unwieldy vacuousness, and the ability to realistically squeak on cue. Women with gravitas like Natalie Portman and Anya-Joy Taylor need not apply.

And of course it will be pitched to the TV masses as sweet, spunky, and badass, and not a superficial cash-grab based on characters with eyes the size of dinner plates and no discernible digits. Any parody value the original had will be replaced with earnest seriousness and an endless supply of Stupid Men – as sincere and true as pre-teen girls get, anyways.

But we prefer to look at the c-cup half full – Dove (and maybe the others) jumping about can’t be all bad, no matter how stupid the premise. Let’s pray the creatively bankrupt CW decides to go for a hard-R rating – “PowerPuff Girls Gone Wild”?

Story By: The Hollywood Reporter

Sports Fantasy

When did watching professional sports become so exhausting? Every athlete and team and league now has a cause to uphold and feels duty-bound to express it on and off the court / field / website.

Forbes notes that the NWHL – that oasis of feminism and progressive attitudes that no-one watches – has decided to reject sponsorship from Barstool Media because team members have been triggered. Defensemen … er, Defensewoman Saroya Tinker says “We’re not just athletes, here to be your Friday- and Saturday-night entertainment. If we don’t feel included in our league, we shouldn’t have to sit here and play for y’all.”

This sentiment would be laughable if it wasn’t applauded by people who’ve never power-lifted anything more than a decaf double latte. For starters, we attend games for the exact opposite to just “sit here” (well, maybe if you’re a batcatcher) , and if fans didn’t watch you and your sisters run amok you wouldn’t get paid.

The Woke fallacy is that all athletes are united in one cause – which is obviously BLM. And also women’s rights; and of course together that’s black women’s rights. Also LGBTQ. And a woman’s right to abortion… and probably support for our troops (or against), more healthcare to minorities, less pornography, the financial fight against Russian imperialism … the list has become endless.

Not only are athletes at the lowest professional tiers not shutting up and suggesting they not dribble, they and their enablers expect viewers to make a conscious, premeditated decision about what they support when they turn on the boob-tube. Middle America will support MS awareness and donate to hurricane relief efforts occasionally, but only between ads for beer and chips.

It may come as a surprise to these Woke Athletes, but people don’t watch a professional sporting event as a conduit toward making charitable donations.

Where we fanatics once watched TV sports to see who would, you know, win the game, we’re being asked to have an educated opinion on US foreign policy. What happens if the game features a pro and anti abortionist on the same team? Trump voter and Never Trump? The pointguard’s brother-in-law is Pakistani, but the center vacations in India – whose side do we need to be aware of to enjoy the bloody game?

I don’t care that you or your partner or your niece were once offended by something that’s outrageous. If you need me to make an emotional investment in anything other than the scoreboard, I won’t watch; and you, subterranean athlete who imagined you were the next Kapernick, can join him in unemployment.

If only the Progressive organizations that athletes are espousing paid out – and not just the insurance company – they could make a living as starting virtue signaller.

Story By: Forbes

Nic the Slut

How many of us, when we were small lads, thought “I’d like to be a movie star”? Make lotsa money, star in 100 movies, maybe play Superman, and, as your career wanes, marry a tight Asian babe.

Nicolas Cage got married to 26 yo Japanese girl (woman?) Riko Shibata last month in (of course) Vegas, and they’re “very happy” and “honorable” and other stuff his PR team told him to say. We’re guessing Shibata is still learning English and doesn’t yet know the right way to say “wtf have I done” to People.

Nic, there are so many things you’ve done wrong in your career, but we’re all envious of this latest move, no matter how much she costs. (Woman for their part can envy Christie Brinkley, who still looks lustworthy in her 60s and cashed in 4 times including a rock star and an architect).

Even if cute, young Asian girls aren’t your flavor (and wtf is wrong with you), you gotta admire Cage for going into this with honesty, sobriety and we assume a pre-nup. It’s obvious to fans, and his previous wives of Asian descent, that she isn’t Cage’s forever home, more his “I want to ball in this sandbox a little while longer” playmate; and if Shibata doesn’t recognize her marriage for what it is, think twice before toileting your birth-control.

Story By: USA Today

WTF WFT?

March 8, 2021 | Photos | Media Man |

The No Longer Washington Redskins have finally got to the root (pun!) of their sexual harassment issues – it was the cheerleader’s fault! How else do you explain owner-meddler Dan Snyder pushing the entire scantily-clad group to the curb?

According to USAToday, the Washington Football Team staff and players no longer have to worry about the temptation of tight young women high-kicking around FedEx Stadium bc they are being replaced by a Cheer Squad – you know, just like high school. And “high school” is the only way to grade this maneuver, as Grabber Dan would rather move the goalposts (pun again!) than admit his organization has failed the No Peeking Laws top to bottom.

Isn’t this cerebral high-jump how the burqa got created? Okay we won’t go there, but the jist that women best cover-up or stay out of the boardroom bc sinful is as ancient as the pharaohs, or their moral brethren the NFL Owners Club.

We wonder what happens if some Kevin Spacey wannabe on the staff has a long look at the young men who will be jumping and thrusting about the sidelines this fall – we don’t know how many gay men are currently employed by the NFL (hint: it’s >0), so swapping the eye-candy may not help.

But Synder isn’t going to lose any sleep or football fans over this move – when you’re worth $2 billion+ you can replace Cheerleaders with overweight garden gnomes if you want.

Story By: USA Today

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PhotoShop v Maybelline

Those of us who’ve been on a movie set know that before that actress (or actor) rolls up they are professionally dressed, trimmed, made-up, tightened, and lit to look fine. Hollywood celebrities make a living based on their appearance – so ytf wouldn’t you want to be Photoshopped?

English paleface Rosamund Pike told uber-feminist Kelly Clarkson recently that she resents being Photoshopped (in the past) on movie posters, magazines, call sheets (jk). It’s an affront to body-shaming activists, feminists, and those who pursue women’s fashion sites in search of reality.

This is loco to anyone who labors in the skindeep fields of Hollywood – when you’re judged and paid for your ache-free mug, don’t cut those tools that improve your look. Kylie Jenner has made a small fortune off altered photos – even when she’s caught. The alternative for feminist actresses is to not style your hair, not wear makeup, avoid the gym, eat wantonly at In-And-Out – in other words: Kelly Clarkson. No boob-jobs, no control-top panties, no foundation to cover your drunken bruises.

A quick scan of IMDb tallies more hits for Halle Berry than Gabourey Sidibe – coincidence? You think Ashley Graham doesn’t submit to the occasional virtual nip and tuck?

Honey, there are thousands of young women shagging to role-calls every day in Hollywood and New York who would wear an iron maiden if it got them on the lot. Try going to a casting call without your Photoshopped portfolio or underwire bra or high-heels and see how far you get.

Story By: Cinema Blend

Sarah Hyland’s Clone is Up and Running

March 3, 2021 | Celebs | Shot Dunyun |

In case you missed it, the Golden Globe awards happened on Sunday and they were as boring as any other Zoom call you’ve been on in the last year. Most of the nominees showed up over webcam to accept their awards, but some of the celebs actually showed up to the event at the Beverly Hilton in Downton LA.

One of these guests was Sarah Hyland. And I’m just going to say it, Sarah Hyland was cloned.

The last we saw Sarah she was ripping through her Juul pods at her bridal shower or getting day drunk in a pool somewhere looking totally ragged, but this Sarah looks brand new. I wonder where her port dock goes.

Tags: sarah hyland