Finish Your Degree Next Time, Muffin

January 4, 2022 | News | Media Man |

So Theranos founder / saleswoman / hack Elizabeth Holmes was finally identified as the crook she is by a jury in California (of all places) – Google “Theranos” for details. She played the “I didn’t know” and battered gf card in defense, but the jury wasn’t buying, seeing how her lies pocketed her millions, and, you know, her blood-testing product never actually worked.

Normally I’d say the scientific details don’t matter toward convicting a fraudulent birth like Liz, but in this case they do; this generation needs to learn that innovation is not a Yes button in a sim-game, and you can’t just throw money and hope and dodgy chemists at a medical problem to get it fixed before your next annual report. (If that was the case, Bezos would have replaced all Amazon staff with robots by now … wait a minute!).

Watch for major media outlets like Fortune to apologize for lionizing this mentirosa and inflating the stock … jk, that will never happen. Next time a blonde college dropout with a husky voice says she needs some coins to get your blood pumping – ask to see a working prototype first.

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