Burning Man is Canceled

April 30, 2021 | News | Media Man |

So can we all just burn someone in the park Wickerman-style instead? (Doing it online would be like playing a Borderlands ripoff.)

It a dazer that the key business of Burning Man 1) chugging, getting dirty, blazing, and listening to bad pacer music – or 2) the Hollywood version, with VIP tents, AC, expensive costumes, and producing the aforementioned Bad Music – can exist beside each other.

But that’s how the left/right/no brain works for today’s hypocritical progressives, who’ve somehow turned a drugged-out act of desert pyromania into a Jenner level fashion show, complete with helicopters and non-recyclable glow-sticks. Where once attendees would hitchhike somewhere to burn the president in effigy or flip over a car bc angry, now they wash their feet at the airport and return to a BelAir mansion with “how was your weekend” from their trust-fund parents.

Is this an insurance issue, or just virtue-signaling safety? Thanks to the Stupid Virus and Big Media, we can’t even go outside and choke on bad peyote. Expect Virtual Burning Man to arrive soon, safe from dust/smoke/meaning, but with added trolls and more corporate sponsorship.

Story By: The Wrap

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In Defense of Douchebags

Remember that philosophical discussion you had between tokes, about if you had a time machine would you go back and eliminate Evil (Hitler, Pol-Pot, Madonna), or do you let it run its course bc fate, life giving you lemons, etc.

Same sorta thing for HBO’s Entourage – should we let Cancel Culture scrub this stup, insipid series, or leave it as an example of Bro Empowerment for future generations?

To be clear: the show suct, everyone knows it sux, and Jeremy Piven – actor and character – regularly makes our list of People We’d Like To Punch in the Face. Like Gwyneth Paltrow’s incredible ability to play a simpering bitch, we don’t think Piven had to dig that deep to come up with this portrayal.

Creator Doug Ellin thinks his show is being censored by The Powers That Be bc its not PC – at least he admits “Entourage” is shit – er, isn’t “high art”. There’s also the fact it shows Hollywood for the shallow, flexing, cesspool it was/is, and newly progressive mid-level leaders would love to do some 1984-style erasure.

The few insightful moments and occasional boob flash aren’t enough to put this back into circulation – but snuffing old shows because they are crap would stroke half of Hollywood’s output.

Govenatress

April 27, 2021 | Celebs | Media Man |

With the pandemic floundering and wildfires raging and entrepreneurs racing to Texas, what California needs now is a Governor who’s bat-shit crazy, and Caitlyn Jenner fits the bill. This person announced they’re interested in Arnold’s old job, assuming the current goverrnator Gavin Newson gets recalled.

I don’t think you can transition from years as a top male athlete to the rugged woman Jenner is today without misplacing a few neurons – in other words, Caitlyn is just the wacky, woke, attention-whore leader the west coast deserves.

That Jenner is running as a Republican makes it a muggin train-wreck – if the GOP is smart they’ll use Jenner’s campaign as a poke in the eye for Progressives throughout the land.

Sacramento is now Ground Zero for transphobia and talk-show hosts – let the Online Outage commence!

Story By: The Hill

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Feministas Assemble

Here’s the difference between Feminists and Men – and we have to use the word Men bc there are no positive words for the male equivalent of a feminist: when it came out that Ron Jeremy was a rapist, everyone including Men shunned him, saying he’s not credible, we should have known better and justice needs to be done. Dudes in jail.

But as it becomes more and more obvious that Amber Heard is a self-serving puta using her victimhood to get a popular, effeminate actor arrested, Feminists will still find excuses to defend her.

Recent police-cam video shows Heard and her beyotches were lying when they said ex Johnny Depp trashed HIS apartment before beating her into a coma … er, bruising her cheek – and just maybe she made up all the other shit about him in a UK court.

That trial seemed to tilt on whether this Cying Lunt felt threatened (she did), and a sympathetic judge keen to make her voice heard with flowery, Men Are Evil prose. Anyone with a chincey of morality and cred knows she’s fos, and we’re all hoping the truth comes out in soul-spanking waves.

Defending Amber is all that’s wrong with rote, gliberal feminism in one nihilist, aged shell. Men of intelligence and conscience cannot defend the Hedgehog, one of our own, and he is Dead to Us (well, as dead as any porn star that still inspires the occasional fapping). Meanwhile, women are jonesing for Heard to appear in Aquaman 2 across from trajan Jason Mamoa.

Story By: Radar

Today’s word is Solipsism

There are few in this world more deserving of a painful death than Bernie Madoff, the banker and pathological liar that said for 40 years he had billions ($65) when he “only” had a few. Along the way, he ROBBED rich and poor of millions of dollars, promising big-bucks the SEC and others were too limp-dicked to investigate from the 80s to 2009 when he finally got punked.

It would be great if he was the only east-coast millionaire gando who gamed the financial system because he can – but he taint by a long shot (see aforementioned SEC players). Dude was on board of directors of this and federation of that, while lying with every breath to everyone who trusted him. People lost their life savings – he lived in a mansion.

At least his story has a happyish ending, as the sob was jailed, billions have been recovered, and he’s dead. Bernie’s level of greed and solipsism (Google it) was so high he was surprised when his broke, shamed son committed suicide.

Normally we don’t wish this much pain on anyone, but this is Boss Level ego, ignorance, and immorality, and for once the judge got it right (“extraordinary evil”, “undeserving of any hope for release”). It might have been better if some skint widow had put a knife in his chest on the streets of Manhattan, bc that would help deter the current shell-jobs who are bilking the system to try and join the 1% – but we’ll take Good News where we can. Burn in hell Madoff

Story By: NBC

Voyeurs Rejoice

April 19, 2021 | Celebs | Media Man |

A banger for that relic of viral porn video – Pam & Tommy’s honeymoon tape – is coming to a theater (or a least a streaming platform) near you!

Sweetie-pie Lily James and Sebastian Stan are queued up to lionize trollop Pamela Anderson and rockstar Tommy Lee in a new series centered around their sex tape. Well maybe not all 8 episodes, but the salacious press is loving the angle, bc it’s Sex and who gives a FF what else they did?

This is a good thing if you like to watch popcorn, bc thanks to TikTok and PornHub and several shisty thrillers about homemade porn and its escape into the wild (internet), HBO will help legitimize the sharing of poorly lit and shaking video of folks throwing it in. (At least we assume it’s HBO – who else would airbrush porn amongst sluts for ingestion by us muggles).

It’s not like the gentrification of shoddy porn wasn’t inevitable – hormones, egotism, and portable video recorders (your phone) have lead to a buttload (pun!) of bad clips; the difference is, instead of being shunned like the Olden Days, now you could become the next Paris Hilton.

Kim better takes some of the billions she fleeced from Kayne and buy the rights to her infamous recording, so she can milk it one more time for an Oscar.

Story By: Variety

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Home Alone with Baby

April 15, 2021 | Celebs | Media Man |

Just once I’d like to see a Hollywood couple press release on their newborn like this one we’re proposing for child-star turned coke-addict Macaulay Culkin and fading hottie Brenda Song:

“We’re shocked that all the drunken sex we undertook – often with each other – lead to an addition to our family, who will be shuffled off to our maids’ care like our purebred dogs. Although we expressed our ‘undying love’ for each other in public, we didn’t think it would come to this – seems no birth control is 100% effective – and this baby will surely complicate our evenings and pre-nup.

If you’re wondering why a 40-year-old former child-star stuffed a formerly hot Asian babe – you know, from the “Facebook” movie – we are also questioning our motivations (greed, lust, ego, coke), but will give it our best shot. Please watch our movies and buy our merch so we don’t have to sell our baby shower to People.”

You can Google Culkin’s comments from back in the unenlightened time of 2018 – suggesting he “throw one into her” and “make little Asian babies” (sic) with Song – to get a sense of how much forethought went into this pregnancy. Meh – at least the kid will grow up cute and rich.

Story By: Esquire

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Virtue Signalling Olympics

I’ve no idea what’s hapnen in the state of Georgia, but apparently Major League Baseball ain’t gonna play there no more. According to various news outlets, the MLB All-Star game previously scheduled for July is moving bc billionaire owners and millionaire players don’t want to be associated with racism or voter fraud or peaches or something.

So many questions for the newly Woke MLB, who is okay with the Houston Astros cheating but not dodgy legislation: are the Atlanta Braves moving? Are you done propping up Latin American countries run by dictators? You sure this press-release isn’t trying to distract peeps from baseball’s cheating and steroids and low ratings?

It’s our fault really – we gots all high-and-mighty when Russians were pummeling Afghanistan, so we boycotted the 1980 Olympics in Moscow, thus landing Sports as another pawn on the political gameboard. (For those who don’t remember, we invaded Afghanistan 20 years later, and those brave Afghan rebels we backed to fight the Soviet Scourge fired at our boys with our own guns – oops).

Funny how the wealthy can find woke-religion when their sponsors threaten to stop payment. Next SJW will insist we move the Grammys and Oscars (of course), beauty pageants (already started), DNC and RNC, gun-shows, dog-shows, Taylor Swift concerts, etc. down to lemonade stands. Remember that time when sports were fun to watch and Hollywood awarded the talented, instead of the Woke? Yeah, it’s wfd.

Story By: CP24

Mrs. Newton has Awoken

If there’s one group of people who’ve been oppressed in Hollywood and European cinema, it’s hot black women. Modern lackey Thandie Newton has renounced her slave-name for the more native leaning Thandiwe – even though her birth name is the pedestrian sounding Melanie (but let’s not slag-off on facts).

The oxyMoron embraced by these newly liberated divas is that actresses of African descent are oppressed despite their numbers and success: Angela Bassett, Halle Berry, Kerry Washington, Gabrielle Union, Taraji P. Henson, Vanessa Williams, Jada Pinkett Smith, Rosario Dawson, and so-on. And black women who are not model-hot somehow also managed to survive under the racist thumb of the patriarchy i.e. Viola Davis, Queen Latifah, Octavia Spencer, Alfre Woodard, Whoopi Goldberg; Regina King’s directorial debut “One Night in Miami” is nominated for 2 Oscars.

Big Media loves to perpetuate the theory that white = tyrant. There’s a difference between reality – e.g. total the net worth of the above women – versus the way poor persecuted Newton feels. We’re sure she’s never stepped over an Asian or Indian or Martian starlet to get paid – some rejected nellie is working the salon bc she never got a chance to flash her headlights (and then publicly regret it years later) as Mel has.

Maybe there’s more racism in UK – good thing “Westworld” is shot in Arizona. We’re waiting for the day some Irish snow-bunny accuses the most powerful woman in Entertainment – Oprah Winfrey – of oppression and racist renaming.

Story By: HuffPost