Quit Sending Dic Pics

I have some critical info that may be a shock to some – women arent as interested in seeing your erect phallus as much as you are. We’re sure it’s very impressive and good for you achieving Level 12 masturbation, but only a statistical anomaly of blazing women want to see it as much as you want them to. Snapping, we know.

You’re making it worse for the rest of us. Here we Cool Men are, trying to slide some lilly moves on a naive young hottie, but you’ve made her afraid to keep DMing in case she’s suddenly assaulted with a Big Dick. Texting your junk is like purchasing a lottery ticket – the upside is huge, but the chances are so low as to make a sensible Joe reconsider the whole expedition.

We could talk about the skills of seduction, the complexity of women’s feelings, the female libido, manning-up, etc – but at the end of the day, YOUR dick is making US look like dicks. Not a team play bro. Warriors are not inserting dick pictures in family films at the local cineplex anymore – junior high is over, bro.

Even if there was some skank stranger who’s “I want a piece of that”, she’s not a pentax babe like Emma Louise Jones, who has the figure of Jessica Rabbit and the bank account of a mid-level broadcaster (and recent recipient of said pic). One look at Emma tells you she already has her choice of high-priced sausage dude – and it’s not yours.

Story By: The Sun

Don’t Quit Your Day-job

Congrats to Dennis Rodman’s daughter Trinity, an 18 yo soccer superstar who’s been drafted at this virginal age into the National Women’s Soccer League. It’s splendiferous to achieve one of your goals at an early age, even if most sports fans have never heard of the NWSL.

From there is a short spring to professional woman’s soccer in Europe and the USWNT – who must be legitimate bc they have an acronym. The Republic World says that despite her father’s genes (e.g. height), Trinity wants to “make it big on her own accord” – good for you muffin.

Note that, in the world of women’s team sports, “making it big” means the same banks as a unionized garbage collector, as opposed to the righteous coin once made by Dad. The average annual salary of a 2021 NBA player is $7.7 million, which is more than any women’s soccer player has ever made her entire career.

And that’s not because women can’t dunk, or throw touchdowns, or skate fast, or kick the soccer ball past mid-field … I forgot where I was going with this. But if finances in the Big Leagues are pinny, Trinity can also go back to Daddy for a car-loan or maybe a working kettle while on tour (surprisingly the Worm only has 3 kids to divvy up his cheddar).

We doubt that Trinity or any others fathered by Rodman have to go thru life ass-out – but it’s not too late to give her a golf-club or a tennis racquet Dennis.

Story By: RepublicWorld

Chad Boseman is the Winner

In this age of Cancel Culture, the only sure path to victory in Hollywood now is by Untimely Death. Sympathetic accolades and memes pour out of Big Media for even the most minor star nowadays, and Chadwick Boseman’s tragic death refuses to be forgotten.

Boseman is likely to be nominated for his role in “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” – don’t worry if you didn’t see it, few did, bc that’s how it goes for most of the Oscar nominations this year (and every year?). Other likely nominations include Anthony Hopkins (won previously), Riz Ahmed (too soon), and Delroy Lindo – but none of them will have the gin-stained tears of sympathy that Boseman now has in pop culture.

You could be the second coming of Marlon fricking Brando, and you’re not gonna win against the bleeding hearts and SJW in the Academy, who will not only vote for a poor, dead, black guy, but accuse any votes otherwise as uncaring, racist, and canceled. Don’t even think of rewarding an old, English white guy – or even someone who, you know, actually deserves to win – bc there’s a dead celebrity that needs to be canonized. Death has a way of washing away past sins, right Kobe?

It’s the same winds that allowed druggie Heath Ledger to win posthumously in 2009 – although, true dat he was pretty good as the Joker in “The Dark Knight”. We’re not saying a man of color shouldn’t win an Oscar (Daniel Kaluuya was robbed by Gary Oldman in 2017) – but dying certainly helps Boseman’s odds. It’s a modern marvel to witness how far the Academy twist and scoop to honor one of their own – should a Gaffer who died in a rollwood accident be given the same tribute as an old, spent queen?

Hollywood will use the Oscars as a virtue-signalling event for the foreseeable future and sux2bu to give the performance of a lifetime the year someone beloved dies. Meryl Streep must be rolling in her grave – or should be, if she wants to win again.

Story By: Forbes

Sports Wags Genesis

In the beginning, there was Professional Sports, and Sports Fans saw that it was good. From their collegiate and club genesis, they stretched across the nation, and spread the word of pay-for-play across the earth. The Owners looked across the media landscape, and said “let there be coverage”, and so it was across radio, television, and the Internet.

And the WAGs followed, like moths to a flame, as the sports Bread rose without limit. Where once they were scattered and few, living off the non-unionized scraps of wayward baseball players, they have left their cheerleading birthright behind to become Brands to rival their Men. Now they number in the 1000s, sweeping across the social landscape with scant clothing, a plucky attitude, and exclusive access to a professional athlete who’s signing bonus pays for their Manhattan apartment.

Yay, through perfume, sweat, and tears, Sports WAGS have come to rule Big Media and The Gram, and will surely begat a generation of sexualized Arm Candy. Like weeds they have begun to cling to lesser crops – mostly high-school ballers – and seek shelter from the winds of Golddigger Recrimination in the temples of the WNBA, CFL, and Poker Stars. They have forsaken the tenants of both Hollywood and Housewives, and prophesize to their Followers of a new Mecca where prenupts are forbidden, and endorsements and great shoes plentiful.

Anyways… that’s how we come to know Jean Watts, and thank the Lord.

Bimbo Revisionist History

We’re sick of bimbos complaining about a past life that got them to the top of the Hollywood pile. Former babe Gemma Arterton tells The Sun she regrets playing a slinky secretary on Bond film “Quantum of Solace”, even though it launched her career and (by her own admission) paid the bills.

The delusions of successful actresses continue: for one, Gemma, you wouldn’t have gotten cast unless you could convincingly play a slut. Secondly, a minor actress has 0 influence on the production of a film as big as Bond – no-one is interested in the “character motivation” needed for a 21 yo grade-C actress when shooting a $250 million dollar pic. If you can’t fire a gun or perform a dangerous stunt or look good naked, maybe don’t audition for a role in a James Bond film.

You only passed Go bc someone in the casting office – male or female – thought you were sexy and could get through Wardrobe. Now that you’ve gotten some award-bating roles, don’t for a second assume you were judged on your acting skills back then, or that producer Barbara Brocolli saw your hidden potential. She saw your ass in tight pants, Gemma. And there are about 10,000 unemployed English girls who would have stepped over their own mother for a piece, but are now working check-out at Tesco bc you, Gemma, got past the rope.

We wonder if middle-aged real-estate agents or massage therapists or sidewalk tulips are trying to rationalize their past choices, as being too young or broke or naive to understand what was going on when they put their feet in the air to get bank. You knew exactly what you were doing when you elbowed a gillion plain-looking woman aside to get yours Gemma, and any regret you have now isn’t going grant you redemption for your past Hollywood sins. You think Jenny McCarthy would be where she is (was) without getting implants?

Hot Latino goddess Ana De Armas is going to get a career-defining boost from the upcoming “No Time to Die”, which will pay for a Mexican villa, her next 5 movie rolls, and the inevitable split from bf Ben Affleck (also – well done Ben!). No way this Cuban girl complains about her tracks to the top when her expensive Cabin Boy is rubbing her feet.

Story By: The Sun

Billie Eilish Maybe Gay

January 4, 2021 | Celebs | Shot Dunyun |

Billie Eilish is a young pop star with the voice of an asphyxiated angel and the yampy social presence that Entertainment Media loves. That she could be a role model for disaffected IG cranks is debatable; at least she hasn’t reached Britney Spears level craziness, but it wouldn’t be hard to forecast.

Also she might be gay – how else do you explain her self-expressed interest in boobs? Cosmopolitan (amongst others) has dutifully reported her fetabpoo for mammary glands, posting artistic or juvenile (or both) pics to the disdain of maybe 100K followers.

Look we all love boobs and entire industries have been built on their appearance and colorful display, but … nothing. So she likes lady-nuts – so what? It may be the most permissible fetish in the world (e.g. Rihanna), and it’s not like hooters are the gateway to illegal nursing mother fondling. We also wouldnt be the first cridiots to tag Eilish as a carpetmuncher.

Or maybe she can post wtf she wants bc pop star. We’ll leave it to psychologists to determine if the bondage poses are signs of a subconscious yearning for BSM – and if so, send pics.

Story By: Cosmopolitan


The Truth About Figure Skatin’

Anyone who talks about the artistic merit and athleticism of figure-skating if fos – this “sport” lands at either end of the Fight Club (!) spectrum, bc you’re either perving at the flesh-colored blouses or bracing for a NASCAR style crash. Or you could be making comments on the makeup and hair of the men and women, in which case you are Gay, and who are we to judge?

Our sister site Egotastic Sports reports that Russian “sports commentator” Vasily Utkin suggested the increase in teenagers on the ice has meant that “breasts and buttocks completely disappear” and the team has become “less beautiful”. At last someone speaks truth to beaded-power, and of course we at WWTDD couldn’t agree more; we’re a long way from top-heavy, linebacker-legs of y-day winners like Katarina Witt.

But any jam where you are awarded points based on your costume is stoopy – we won’t go to the obvious and therm argument of “what if Mahomes had to wear frilly sleeves on fourth down?” (On the other hand, if we’re talking about lame graffiti, the Clippers need a new logo ffs – just saying). When’s the last time someone fugly won an Olympic medal here, feminists?

So in summary – although figure skating is tripping artistic impressions and musical interpretations and “ballet on ice”, heterosexual men only watch for booty, wipe-outs, and the mythical nipslip. Someone tell us how this high brow “sport” is so different from WWE or NASCAR or the Lingerie Football League (may it RIP)?

Story By: Egotastic Sports