JK Pop

Feminine Asian pop-stars are invading American shores, and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it! Okay, we don’t mean to trigger everyone, but there’s a myriad of well-dressed Japanese and Korean women and “men” singing in English, throwing down mad hooks, and generally making bank in US dollars.

BTS is the pretty South Korean group with a bazillion followers, who can be deployed to jack-up YouTube videos, disrupt elections, and challenge the Illuminati. BlackPink – not a porn site – is also K-Pop, slightly more feminine than BTS, and has weaponized Japanese school-girl cuteness. Also both groups sing ghostwritten music and pose rapidly (called “dancing” by their followers).

The YouTube Original announced this week for BlackPink, focusing on their latest bang-out, won’t be the behind-the-scenes footage most of us would like to see; but how scandalous and dirty can demure, plastic mannequins be anyway? Props to the owners of these brands … er, “bands”, who are not only stacking paper but could replace their pawn pieces without significant Twitter blowback.

If you can tell the difference between all these JK Pop groups you’re a prepubescent rock star. Actually that’s not true – one of these 2 groups we’d like to see naked; the other would be like a junior high boys change-room.

BTS Story via VARIETY

BLACKPINK Story via DEADLINE

Now some pics of Blackpink, so you know what you are dealing with:

Gender Nonneutrallity

The old adage that “women can do anything” was replaced around 2010 with “how dare you say women can’t do everything”, despite several biological indicators to the contrary. We liberated Men are grateful that society allows our sisters / gf / wives / daughters to free themselves from the enslaving yolk of the Patriarchy; but asserting women can do anything ignores the fact that they can’t consistently dunk, serve as a Navy SEAL or fireman, or hold a position as a religious leader in most of the world.

Of course men can’t do everything either – like give birth, work the phones at a sex-chat service, or appreciate Ellen. WWTDD is all for gender equality – the more men who join the nursing profession the better – but we’re more interested in T&A. It’s pesky biology that keeps getting in the way of the gender-less nirvana (and fucdat).

The latest scientific bummer for feministas comes via the Stupid Virus – apparently men are “twice as likely” to die from infection than women, according to studies referenced in The Guardian. (The article dwells on medical mistreatment of women due to “hormonal changes” and other differences). Any farmer knows you don’t nurse a cow the same as a bull.

We’re wondering how many Gender Studies majors have been recruited into the field of virology to find that Queer Theory and Neutral Language don’t apply. WWTDD is keen to point out the physical differences between women and men – and we have the science to prove it!

Story via The Guardian

Here are some hot and naughty nurses of reddit.

Close the Curtains Demi

When you live your life in public on the Gram and TikTok and People (perhaps the worse), every little nuance is wound-up and scrutinized. You think everyone loves you for who you are – thus the x million followers you have – and will stick with you balling or falling. They Like you, listen to your admonishments, and most importantly pay your bills. Right or Wrong doesn’t matter, just clicks (as Big Media has learned years ago).

So the trials and tribulations of a former child-star turned average singer turned trainwreck are broadcast in real-time, for Miley, Arianna, and in this case, Demi Lovato.

As reported on Elle and our sister sites, Lovato found the love of her life in March, engaged him in July, and called it off in September. His name or occupation or the reasons don’t matter – maybe they’ll reconcile in December (People would love that) – bc its not his life under the microscope. We’re not saying avoiding or terminating a marriage means your life is off-the-rails, but these used to be called Private Moments.

So her romances, overdoses, funerals, arrests, surgery, pet-names etc. are all Instagram fodder and entertainment news fuel. These are self-inflicted wounds, like a sliver on your shovel hand feeding coal into Social Media Machine … who knew WWTDD could be so poetic?

We’re not saying anything new – we’re saying Lovato needs professional help. Demi, delete your Twitter account (or maybe suspend it bc $), fire your publicists, cancel that trip to Cabo, and stay home and shut up. If you can do that for 2 weeks, we’ll send you the number of a good headshrink.

Story VIA ELLE

The New C Word

You may have heard of the movie “Cuties”, another cinematic burp in the Netflix pipeline to keep people at home and sedentary by throwing every movie at the wall to see what sticks. It’s a French coming-of-age drama focusing on a young girl pursuing her dreams – in this case competitive dancing – against traditional family values and poverty; oh and the main character is 11.

The filmmakers have justified their movie in the face of accusations of child exploitation as “honest storytelling”, and a personal story that needs to be told blah blah blah – actually, no, it doesn’t. (Check IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes ratings to see where – admittedly opinionated – audiences lie).

You mean to tell me that no-one making this movie – not the director, writer, producers, parents of the child-actors, etc. had even the slightest thought that this film could be a conduit for hypersexualizing children? Apparently Netflix Marketing did, since movie marketeers have been selling sex, violence, and quick, indecipherable cuts for the last 40 years, and can’t think otherwise.

Anyone who’s seen a movie in the last 50 years knows that Jennifer Lawrence and “Sex and the City” and Michael Bay realized their “art” could be reinterpreted as pornography in our sound-bite media world. Mr. Skin makes a living here. We’re not saying that children or boobs or horses can’t be given a close-up bc they may be transcribed as porn by over-imaginative perverts – we’re saying you’re either naive or stupid (or worse, okay with it) when you sexualize children on-screen without concern for exploitation.

It’s like filming a “true story” where some red-neck dirtbag blows up a fictional building, showing a detailed, step-by-step montage on how to create a bomb using fertilizer and baking soda and Mentos – yes, its true to the story, and yes, your antagonist may be incarcerated and remorseful afterward – but don’t pretend to be shocked when some asshat freeze-frames your “honest portrayal” and incinerates the local Wendys.

In the future when you Google “Cuties” the CIA will add you to a pedophile watch list – I wonder if Netflix saw that coming??

Story VIA CINEMA BLEND

Now to cleanse the palate, here’s Top 5 Stripping Scenes in Moves by aforementioned Mr.Skin, where all the actors are over the age of 18!

What Celebs Do to Pass the Time

It’s no secret that the horde of Hollywood celebs we all know and love get up to some crazy things from time to time, but what do they when the crazy subsides and they’re left with some free time on their hands? Yes, you read that right. In this article, we’re going to be taking a bit of a dive into the wondrous world of celebrity hobbies. Some are pretty out there, others are more down to earth than anyone could have expected, but either way, there’s something on the list to satisfy everyone’s curiosity.

Gambling

With so much money in their pockets, it’s not a surprise to see that several celebrities like to partake in the luxurious world of gambling. From our most recent Batman Ben Affleck to everyone’s favorite Spiderman Tobey Maguire, it seems that our superhero squad isn’t too opposed to reveling in the excitement that comes with casino slot games. We can’t say that we blame them, casinos can be loads of fun when you know how to play right.

If you’re one to follow celebrity trends and are thinking of hopping onto the casino trend, then we’d recommend going for the recently popular online casino option. While celebs might have the means to spend their time the world-famous casinos us regular Joes can only dream of, there are even better alternatives. With bonuses and promotions to fuel your real money gaming journey, you’ll be feeling like a celeb yourself in no time.

Spying

This one might take the cake as one of the oddest ones on the list. We can’t deny that spying on people comes with a thrill that we just can’t shake, and it seems that the infamous Simon Cowell feels the same way! When he’s not out there putting every single bad act to shame on one of his many, many talent competitions, Simon Cowell likes to spy on the neighbors and see what they’re up to. Don’t worry, he tries to keep the creep factor down to a minimum as it’s all in good fun.
While we can’t exactly say for certain, we’re sure that Simon Cowell isn’t alone in his secret little hobby. With so many celebs living in secluded neighborhoods quite close to each other, we can guess that more than a few of them are interested in what their high-profile neighbors are doing. It’s understandable, if the many outbursts of Kanye West are all public, we can only begin to imagine what he gets up to when the cameras aren’t on him.

Gaming

With gaming becoming one of the world’s most popular hobbies, it’s only right that it’s made its way into the depths of Hollywood. A surprising name you wouldn’t expect to pop up when you talk about gaming is Nicole Kidman. The iconic actress fancies calling herself a Nintendo fan and spends hours playing brain-boosting games. Another celebrity that can’t seem to get enough of video games is none other than Captain Marvel herself – Brie Larson.
Brie Larson has expressed interest in many different video games on multiple consoles, but it seems that her favorite is Animal Crossing: New Horizons on the Nintendo Switch. There might be a secret deal going on between celebs and Nintendo that none of us are aware of. If you’re interested in delving deeper into what Brie Larson is up to, you can check out her very entertaining YouTube channel where she talks about life and video games.

Writing

This is one of the tamer hobbies we mentioned at the beginning. Not everyone is lucky enough to turn their beloved hobby into a profession that rakes in millions by the month, yet it worked out well for J.K Rowling. The prolific writer of fan-favorite Harry Potter has managed to build an empire over the years thanks to something that started as a fun pastime. We’re not sure how well that can work out for the rest of us, but if it worked for her, there might be a chance.
Another celebrity that has a penchant to reach for pen and paper and turn their thoughts to interesting fiction is none other than Marvel’s widely well-received Jessica Jones – Krysten Ritter. She might have been a badass chick with a bit of an alcohol problem on the Netflix original series, but in real life, Ritter is a big softie that loves a good thriller, which is why she wrote one by the name of Bonfire!

What’s a Quibi?

It would have been interesting to be at the board meeting in the expensive Hollywood office where mogul Jeffrey Katzenberg and duchess Meg Whitman cooked up Quibi. “I’ve got a great idea – let’s build a video service where people pay money for short videos of famous people doing cool stuff. There’ll be no ads – well, if they subscribe – and we’ll get Speilberg and the Kardashians and the adorable Chrissy Teigen … kids will think it’s the Bomb!”

“You mean like YouTube?”

“No, it will be produced content with stars.”

“Like Netflix.”

“No shorter, with more reality-based drama.”

“Like broadcast TV?”

“No, it’s only available on your phone – like when your chauffeur is driving you to the Hamptons, or, idk, when you’re on the subway to Manhattan.”

“So … not YouTube…?”

You and me and the rest of the planet had a similar jump to grasp why we would pay for something we get for free, so Quibi has struggled despite billions of dollars of investment from other old Hollywood types. If there’s one group of people who understand the wants and desires of a socially active, multiracial audience, its Rich Old White People.

Now Variety and others are reporting that investors are trying to sell before the good ship Katzenberger hits the rocks. Looking at this business plan, the only way anyone under 30 took a job with Quibi, is bc a) money and b) they thought they were building the next YouTube. Oops x2 (sad emoji)

STORY VIA VARIETY

Emmys are Great – Also No-One Cares

The 2020 Emmy’s were a moff success, according to Hollywood, and a pile of wolf-bait according to the rest of the country.

Deadline says Sunday’s at-home Emmy Awards broadcast was “one for the ages”, and “one of the best Emmy shows ever.” Too bad no-one watched it, as Deadline is reporting low ratings for the show, with 4x more people watching Sunday Night Football (Patriots v Seahawks). Maybe it was the in-house broadcast, lack of live audience participation (mostly), or just that America had reached its quota on Jimmy Kimmel – expect Hollywood times to blame middle-America’s lack of taste. Or the virus, bc everything unpopular is bc of the Stupid Virus – I’m sure the WNBA braintrust is blaming the Stupid Virus for low ratings, not that their product is crap.

Rarely has the term navel-gazing been so easy to apply. We wonder what would happen if the Concrete Setters of America held their annual ceremony in a small Des Moines conference room, broadcast it online, and then declared it a triumph – even though 7 people watched. Actually, we don’t need to wonder – both organizations are completely out-of-touch with their customers.

Here’s a round-up of the “best” moments according to Variety:

Story via DEADLINE

How about some pics of the 2018 Emmy Red Carpet, because why not.

Female Voyeurs are Adorable

September 18, 2020 | Gossip | Media Man |

Okay this rant writes itself. Bulbous Wendy Williams has admitted that she spies on her New York neighbors with binoculars, including a man who showers “head to ankle”. We all know there is a wiring problem in Williams’ brain, but unfortunately it doesn’t stop her lips from flapping.

You can read the cutesy article here

, but if we change the gender (and add some bass strings) the interview moves from joke to criminal confession. Imagine if Steve Buschemi says he regularly watches his female neighbors disrobe, and even though the view is obscured he can still see “the good parts”. Accused of “borderline criminal” activity, Buschemi would “shrug” saying he’s a peeping tom like its no big deal, and sometimes he puts his hand down his pants … okay Williams didn’t say that last part, but she could with no repercussion.

If this admission was made to KTLA from a man who’s not a b-list celebrity, you can imagine the outrage and subsequent arrest.

It’s all smiles and puff-pieces and cute prose when a female celebrity is a pervert, bc in our feminist world its funny when a woman does it.

STORY VIA TOOFAB

Tags:

Hollywood Feeds its Own!

Poor Paris Hilton, who’s been hounded by the media all her life, recently revealed that she’s suffered humiliation and injury from the start of her fragile existence. Or, back in reality, the perfume hawker has traveled the world, never gone hungry, and has a net worth of over $290 million. Only in Hollywood can you be both.

Variety dutifully reports that her life-story documentary “This is Paris” (we would have gone with “Rich Bitch Sex Tape 2”) is filled with “unfiltered” moments, including her cruel and unusual boarding school attendance, where she was torn from her meager home “in the middle of the night” to a place which would cure her addiction to partying and (we’re guessing) recreational drugs.

If you’re not one of the 1%, you have a hard time reading this story without noticing that words like “mansion”, “chauffeur”, and “trust fund” are oddly missing. This is a woman who was born into money, has never handled a shovel, nor put her feet in the air to get paid as has Kim, Bella, and Taylor – yet she’s hesitant to portray this vast suffering on film.

If we change some minor details – say, if Paris was a poor Mexican girl, stolen from her bed “in the middle of the night” to work a whore-house because she’s a heroin addict – it doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. (Read the comments in the Variety article from proletariat like us to know where sympathies lie).

Here’s hoping this downtrodden soul gets a, at the very least, a 7 figure marketing campaign, 2 sympathetic interviews with Entertainment Tonight (with soft piano music), and a 5% jump in stock for Hilton Hotels and/or her fragrance line. We pray these meager dregs will help her heal.

STORY VIA VARIETY

This is Your Captain Speaking

Ah, the hypocrisy of celebrity nudity. Steroid actor Chris Evans – who plays Captain America and no-one remembers what else – “accidentally” shared a dick-pic to his many followers this weekend. We’re sure it’s very impressive in its state of readiness, and we tip our hat to this hot-blooded stud and his many forthcoming carnal adventures.

No word on many hunnies have DM him looking for a piece, but the incident is being treated as a cute mistake by the Media – as opposed to a regular dude sending a similar photo out, which is pornographic and illegal and male fascism. And if Kim or Kylie or (please god) Dove was to “accidentally” post a similar picture, it would be art and female expression and empowering. (Click on any of WWTDD sister-sites if you agree).

Hollywood wants people to forget that actors are insecure nihilists, and flash their bodies to get paid – like strippers with better lighting and music. And pay them we to, whether baring bust in search of an Oscar or that thong that gets a 1000 more likes on the Gram. How would we be blessedly exposed to so many overwrought Bulgarian babes if it wasn’t so?

When a woman posts any part of her anatomy in a pre-coital state, there would be tsking and Dislikes, but much more feminist defense of the oppressive Male Gaze, and how dare you diss a woman who’s expressing her sexuality. Even enjoying said picture and suggesting you appreciate the details and would like to see more like them is sexist

Female celebrities can be sluts and forgiven – men like Evans and Aziz Ansari – not so much. Although if you look like Evans, women can meme it with giggling and heart emojis without repercussion (try doing that for any celebrity nip-slip).

In summary – Evans “accidentally” sends a dp and for many it “made my Saturday” – a Kardashian does it and it’s sexy – you do it, and the police will be coming over shortly.

Here is a gallery of 10 girls who have experienced Chris Evan’s dick, before it was a (intentional) dick pic, including: Kate Bosworth, Jessica Biel, Gisele Bundchen, Emmy Rossum, Christina Ricci, Minka Kelly, Kristin Cavallari, Jenny Slate and Lily Collins.