Tom Brady is Leaving the Patriots!

I don’t really do the whole sports things, but Tom Brady and the Patriots are pretty much interchangeable, so this is pretty big news.

Plus, he’s married to that Victoria’s Secret model, who happens to be the highest paid model in the world, despite being an old mom. She’s still hot, but I would imagine there are younger and hotter and more compelling models out there. I mean why even pay models when hot girls on social media will do it for free. But I digress.

This is the statement he made:

We can imagine that Gisele wants to relocate, or someone offered him more money, probably a lot of questions out there for his fans, because he’s got fans, crazy and obsessive fans.

I met a few of those fans in December who were as cocky as he is, thinking that their team and their QB was some sort of God, so it was nice to see the Patriots miss the Super Bowl 2020, so I guess this is nice too.

What will all the Patriot fans so loyal to their leader going to do now? Do they stick with New England or do they follow their boy wonder. So many questions I don’t actually have, because who gives a shit about overpaid men paid to play games like they are still in Elementary school.

The world is collapsing, the NFL may never exist again, is this really the news we need?

Robert Kraft, who was possibly interviewed in a Florida Rub and Tug where he paid the Asians to spit in his mouth to prove he’s invincible explained the break-up to ESPN … saying, “Tommy initiated contact last night & came over. We had a positive, respectful discussion.”

“It’s not the way I want it to end, but I want him to do what is in his best personal interest. After 20 years with us, he has earned that right. I love him like a son”

Maybe all “Tommy” wanted was to be loved like one of Kraft’s Asian whores.

Maybe this is all to draw some attention to Gisele’s recent Costa Rica bikini pics in her international travel social distancing. I mean the timing of these pics is pretty convenient.

Coronavirus Challenge – The Toilet Seat Edition – Is Running for President.

As the director general of the WHO addresses the COVID-19 virus. Where he is encouraging testing, social distancing and all that other stuff. While other professionals and experts in the field of epidemiology, medicine, etc. The general egocentric and opportunist public who think “it can’t happen to us” are out there licking toilets.

This instagram model, who isn’t as much a model as a gutter pile of shit, decided to be edgy and shocking by partaking in a FUCK THE CORONAVIRUS viral challenge, she may be the only idiot participating in, and it went viral because it involved her licking a plane toilet seat, a disgusting concept when there isn’t a pandemic going on.

It puts the whole hanging out in Clearwater Beach with John Travolta and the other Scientologists who don’t believe in disease. Those people who think this mandatory vacation, is in fact a vacation. WOOOOOOOOOO school’s out so let’s BEACH PARTY together, instead of stay away from each other together.

Sure the instagram toilet licker probably wiped down the toilet seat with Lysol she paid 10 times the price for, but she’s still licking a fucking toilet for attention. The internet breeds all kinds and is a reminder that COVID could be a blessing in disguise that rids us of all the garbage out there.

Her email is avalouiisebusiness@gmail.com let her know how you feel.

It’s funny that this was posted on TikTok, which is getting exposed for telling the moderators to prioritize good looking people, while blocking the poor and the fuglies…so let’s hope that applies to Chrissy Tiegen’s profile.

Here’s that Toilet Seat Licking Video that went viral because the world is silly.

Halle Berry Bragging About her Diet

March 16, 2020 | Celebs | Shot Dunyun |

Actress Halle Berry decided to share what she eats in a day, she’s doing the Keto diet and has been working out. Halle is always posting photos of her abs now that she’s over 50. I would say, if Halle can live on this she will have no trouble making it through the end of the world, she

Breakfast is a fresh juice made of Purium, greens and beets, for lunch she has 12 green beans and a spoonful of bolognese sauce, dinner is Arctic Char (which she called attic char, another case of ebonics) fish filet with olive salsa and cauliflower mash, she finishes her day with a snack made up of cherry tomatoes, cheese and scallions. Who sits there and eats just straight scallions like that?

Tags: halle berry

Penelope Cruz Defends Johnny Depp’s Character in Court

Penelope Cruz and Johnny Depp have been friends for years and have starred in many films together over the years. Penelope is obviously seen by the public as a somewhat reliable source and a good natured human in general so it was super smart of Depp to have her defend his character in court while battling his ex wife and professional liar Amber Heard over her abuse claims.

Another reason for Cruz to speak up on Johnny’s behalf may be due to the fact that Amber Heard’s lawyers harassed the actress, among others like Winona Ryder and Jennifer Grey and Ashley Olsen to try and get them to come forward with some sort of proof of abusive behaviour.

Here is what Penelope had to say when speaking on Johnny:

“I met Johnny when I was 19 years old. He was in Madrid and Pedro Almodovar introduced him to me. The only sentences I knew how to say in English at that time were, ‘how are you’ and ‘I want to work with Johnny Depp.’”

Penelope Cruz Defends Johnny Depp

“Many years have passed and I have not only made 3 movies with him, but I also count on him as a great friend. I’ve always been impressed by his kindness, his brilliant mind, his talent, and his peculiar sense of humor.”

“I’ve seen Johnny in so many situations and he is always kind to everyone around. He is one of the most generous people I know.”

She also spoke about being pregnant with her son Leo Encinas Cruz who she has with husband Javier Bardem:

“During six months of my first pregnancy, I spent every single day with him while we shot Pirates of the Caribbean. My husband and I will never forget the sweetness, protection, and kindness he treated me with during every single step of that process.”

“We love him very much and I feel lucky to have someone so special in our lives.”

Amber Heard is shaking.

We Can All Learn from 2009 Heidi and Spencer

March 13, 2020 | Celebs | Shot Dunyun |

Back in 2009, Swine Flu or H1N1 was the panic. It was scary and a ton of people caught and fought it, and a bunch of people died. But not Heidi and Spencer! They showed Swine Flu who was boss, they wore masks 24/7 and were spotted traveling and even kissing with the masks on. We can learn something from these two while protecting ourselves against CONVID-19. Like cockroaches, they always survive.

Tags: heidi montag

Is Justin Timberlake Putting on the Black Talk for Ellen?

Justin Timberlake is from Memphis, so he’s expected to have a lil twang in his talk, but when he went on ELLEN this week he apparently pushed it by calling SZA, a black singer, “sis”. Everyone is accusing him of putting on the black talk, or as they call it AAVE (African American Vernacular English) I guess you can’t call it Ebonics anymore? Personally I think this was just his ORIGINAL voice coming out, not his sissy LA voice we’re so used to.

Ellen asked SZA about her recent cover on Rolling Stone in which she’s wearing a tiny bikini top, and because Ellen is a pervert she was asking questions pertaining to what SZA was wearing in the shoot. When the singer tried to answer Ellen, Timberlake kept talking over her and saying things like “Oh, sis!” in a weird feminine voice. You can see the cringe in the clip below.

I’m not offended by Justin talking over her because it seems like he was trying to sort of hype her up in a weird kinda of compliment, but he totally could have shut the hell up for a second and let her answer. This interaction just shows that Justin is desperate from attention, probably because he’s married to the most boring human alive.

I barely know who SZA is but I would definitely love to hear her voice over Justin Timberlake’s any day. Why does this dude dressed like my high school guidance councillor?

Kate Beckinsale Says Harvey Weinstein Told her to Shake Her Ass

Kate Beckinsale had something to say after hearing the news of Harvey Weinstein’s sentencing to 23 years in prison for rape. The 46 year old actress took to her Instagram to share photos from the 2001 premiere of her film Serendipity, which was being held in New York not even a month after the September 11th attacks. Kate said that the entire cast wasn’t into having the premiere but that Harvey insisted.

“These photos were taken at the premiere of Serendipity on October 5,2001. We all refused to go because holding a premiere mere weeks after 9/11 with the city still smoking felt like the most insensitive, tone deaf,disrespectful idea possible .But Harvey insisted. We flew into New York and somehow got through it.” The actress wrote.

After the premiere however, Harvey invited Kate and her then 2 year old daughter Lily Mo Sheen over for a playdate, which is when apparently Harvey verbally attacked Kate and told her to shake her ass and tits on the red carpet. Harvey kinda did have a point, he’s put a lot of money up for the movie to succeed and in this case he’s the boss?

Here is what Kate claims he said:

He started screaming “you stupid fucking CUNT, you CUNT you ruined my premiere .” I had no idea what he was talking about and started to shake.He said,”If I am throwing a red carpet you get in a tight dress, you shake your ass you shake your tits you do not go down it looking like a fucking lesbian you stupid fucking cunt. – I don’t care -it’s my fucking premiere and if I want pussy on the red carpet that’s what I get”.

So Kate Beckinsale is stoked to hear Harvey got 23 years in jail, and hopes actresses won’t be told to show up to premiere’s for the movies they are starring in and to shake their asses and put a smile on because it’s their job.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar in Zack Morris Drag

March 12, 2020 | Celebs | Shot Dunyun |

Mark-Paul Gosselaar who’s name you probably only know for being Zack Morris on Saved by the Bell, is getting into his Zack drag to reprise his role as Preppy in the new NBC streaming series, theres no release date yet but the service its premiering on is only launching this April. Mario Lopez is set to return as A.C. Slater and his love interest and original annoying feminist Jessie Spano will bring Elizabeth Berkley back onto our screens, unless you’re like me and re-watch Showgirls every 6 months.

Apparently everybody’s crush Kelly Kapowski will also be returning, with Tiffani Amber Thiessen scheduled to appear in 1 or 2 episodes, according to Gosselaar. I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear that Lark Voorhies will not be coming back as Lisa Turtle considering she’s been a complete mess since the show ended. Screech aka Dustin Diamond has yet to be included in the reboot and was quoted as saying “You can’t have a reboot without Screech”. I don’t agree.

The reeboot’s plot has been summarized as this:

“When California governor Zack Morris gets into hot water for closing too many low-income high schools, he proposes they send the affected students to the highest performing schools in the state — including Bayside High. The influx of new students gives the over privileged Bayside kids a much needed and hilarious dose of reality.”

Mark-Paul Gosselaar Zack Morris Drag Saved By the Bell

Tags: saved by the bell

Celebrities Vs The Corona Virus

As the economy tanks. Home entertainment due to self isolation rises. Costco and Amazon selling out of all things – Toilet Paper.

The Corona Virus is real and celebrities like Howie Mandell and Naomi Campbell are taking it very seriously. (Look at the gallery at the bottom of the page).

I figured what better opportunity that to give you the Tyler Durden approved tips to avoid getting the Corona Virus. You know follow the Celebrity lead.

I read that the CDC is now recommending plastic bags over mask to combat Corona. To be fully effective, make sure they are tied nice and tight.

Then I realized it might be a meme.

Then I saw someone using plastic cling wrap to combat the Corona Virus and thought “Maybe that’s a joke too”.

We live in this fake news, everyone is a comedian, what is even real world.

So we’ve decided to make our own Corona Virus hack list of items you’ll need to fight what the Who (who?) is calling an official Pandemic.

Don’t get us wrong, we are terrified of the virus and not buying into all the invincible tough guys out there dropping stats up how the FLU kills more people, or how cancer kills more people.

None of that is the point, we want to avoid at all costs! Hope this helps.

1. The Full Body Condom

2. Full Length Rubber Gloves

3. Lysol Cleaner – good luck finding wipes

4. A good mask that protects all mucus membranes!

5. This one might be more practical

6. Personal Bubble

7. Hazmat Suit

8. Hand Sanitizer

9. Cotton Washcloths to use as REUSABLE toilet paper

10. Your own personal toilet seat is a way to avoid a high germ traffic area

11. Don’t forget about your DOG!

HERE ARE THOSE CELEBS DEALING WITH PANDEMICS LIKE THE HEROS THEY ARE.

Corey Feldman Names Charlie Sheen as Abuser in Documentary

Corey Feldman has been on a fight against the perverts that run Hollywood for a long time ever since he and his BFF Corey Haim were molested as young actors and throughout their careers. After Haim died, Feldman started campaigning to raise money to publish his books and documentaries calling out the industry.

Last night, his documentary called “My Truth: The Rape of 2 Coreys” debut on his website, viewers were charged $20 each to cover the cost of making the film as Corey says. But within something like 15 minutes into the lifestream the site crashed and users were either unable to log on or kicked off. Corey was having a live screening of the movie in Los Angeles and when the lifestream started having “technical errors” he put the live screening on pause as well. Corey then let the crowd hear the IT guy on the phone say that they had been “hacked” and “attacked”. I honestly don’t doubt it.

But the show must go on! Corey came through and accused Charlie Sheen (again) of raping Corey Haim in 1985 when they were filming the movie Lucas together. He had previously accused Charlie of this and the HIV Positive Two and a Half Men star released a statement to Page Six today saying “These sick, twisted, and outlandish allegations never occurred. Period. I would urge everyone to consider the source and read what his mother Judy Haim has to say.”

Charlie Sheen Rape

What I’m wondering is why would Judy Haim Charlie’s defence, why not just say “this is crazy” why guarantee that the mother is going to have is back? Is it because she was paid off after her son died to not speak out? Or has she been the stage parent that pushed her son into the industry and covered it up his entire career/life? Who knows but it seems weird that Charlie Sheen has HIV and Haim died of Pneumonia in 2010 at the age of 38 – seems suspicious.

Here are the other names apparently listed in The Rape of 2 Coreys, which apparently have all been openly accused by Corey before so there may have been no real NEW information released in the doc, it doesn’t really matter if its old information, because if it’s true then someone should start laying charges??

Charlie Sheen
Bob Hoffman
Alphy Hoffman
Marty Weiss
Jon Grissom
Dominick Brascia