Dear “Ally”: Women Hate You

There’s been a rise in the “Woke” world as of late. They’re called male feminist and, SURPRISE, they creep everyone the fuck out. Now, this isn’t to say that a guy being pro-woman is bad. It’s not. I happen to like women very much. So much so that I often have sex with them. The problem EVERYONE seems to have with male feminist is their insistence on being more feminist than their female counterparts. There in lies the rub. It’s something that has become known as ‘too try-hard”, and women fucking hate it.

There’s a old cartoon of a big dog walking along with a little dog. The big one walks slow, upright, says nothing, while the little one is yapping and jumping and asking over and over what the big dog wants to do that day. Finally, without even looking, the big dog smacks the little dog and simply says “Shaddup!”. That’s how most people feel about anyone who is too try-hard, especially when it comes to men and women.

Even if you’re being sincere and not just some creep trying to backdoor, or as the late great Patrice O’Neal so eloquently put it “friendship your way into some pussy”, women don’t dig it. I have yet to see an “ally” being anything but a whipping boy, gofer, or end up being the guy that feminist are always warning women about *cough Weinstein cough*. Even psychologytoday and hardcore feminist Kate Iselin come to the same conclusion. So fellas, take it down a notch. The whole point is that they don’t need you. If you keep it up, they definitely won’t want you.

Your Pal,
Tyler Durden

Be Superman in a World of Clark Kents

March 30, 2020 | Ask Tyler | Tyler Durden |

Not too many things wake people up like a worldwide pandemic. Only an Alien invasion or a World War could do better at getting people to think about what’s really important, what really matters, and how to protect it. I wonder how many men are getting the “side eye” from their significant other right now? She (possibly he) is wondering how you would do if shit really hit the fan. Can you fight? Do you know how to start a fire? Can you make soap from scratch? These might be just a few things you want to think about as we either get thru this or don’t. No one wants to be with a victim, no matter how much you may want to empathize with one. Women especially fall into this category. Sure, stereotypically they tend to more sensitive to the plight of others, but they don’t want to take care of an equal, especially if they are in a relationship with said equal. What woman wants to walk down a dark alley and have to worry about defending both of you? No woman wants to be the one to yell “RUN! SAVE YOURSELF!!!”.

The point is, learn a skill. Hell, you got time right now so learn several. Maybe another language. Maybe how to hunt. Maybe do a push up or fifty. If you haven’t noticed, this civilization is fragile. It could go at a moments notice. With that being said, I’d like to quote my anarchist pal the Joker by saying: “When the chips are down, these ‘civilized people”, they’ll eat each other.”.

Be prepared son. That’s my motto. Be prepared.

Yours Truly,
Tyler Durden

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So, What Would Tyler Durden Do?

March 30, 2020 | Ask Tyler | Tyler Durden |

Look around, look around. The world is falling apart and all of a sudden these precious “celebrities” don’t seem that interesting. What is interesting is the greater good. Enjoying your life. Being what you want to be. Doing what you want to do. No longer will we worry about who bleaches Rhianna’s butthole. No longer will we care if Pete Davidson is banging Madonna…ew.

Today is a new day. A new beginning. We don’t need these whiny, self-absorbed, pampered “stars”. Fuck em’. I say we learn to make beer. I say we learn how to cook the perfect steak. I say we learn how to fight. I say we enjoy the scars life gives us. I say stop looking for heroes and become your own.

“Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It’s only after you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything.”

Sincerely Yours Truly,

Tyler Durden

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Dora Madison is Disgusted by Men

Her name is Dora Madison Burge and she’s an actress you’ve probably never heard of. Her instagram bio is “simple and irrelevant” which is pretty accurate, she only has 8,000 followers on social media despite consistently being naked on social media. It must be pretty hard on the ego, but then at the same time, she’s a working actress, not a very hard working actress, but has worked as an actress and got paid. So in a lot of ways, her irrelevance doesn’t matter, because she’s already in the system that all these idiots want to be in.

Point being, she gets naked consistently on her feed, in a free the nipple positioned, sex positive, clickbait I am sure she hopes goes viral so that people finally take notice of her. She’s getting old in actor years and still hasn’t broke through, but that’s probably due to her attitude.

In typical “feminist” antics for social media, she did a Q&A for her very few fans, and one of the things she wrote was that “Most Men Disgust Her” as she posted clickbait targeted to men because I know lesbians aren’t getting their fingers wet to this content, while dudes are more simplistic.

It’s like why offend the only thing that keeps you around…perverts. I mean is it to filter out the dudes who want to hate fuck a bitch who says that kind of thing from the SIMPS, or is it to make the SIMPS get off harder as a virtual ball torture fetish video.

I don’t have those answers, but I am offended by man-hating content because it just segregates us as a people, which seems weird for someone seeking INCLUSIVITY. “Women are Equal to Men” followed by “Men are shit”….pick a strategy, ya’ll are confusing me.

Chrissy Teigen Ripped Her Asshole

March 24, 2020 | Celebs | Shot Dunyun |

Absolute degenerate trash Chrissy Teigen decided to share some personal information on twitter last night, as she does.

The terrifying looking model was trying to beef people who complain about the pain of the COVID-19 test, which involves sticking a swab so far back down your thought that you can feel it in your brain. So she got on twitter and told these people to grow up, that she’s been through worse pain, like when she had her second baby named Luna and ripped her vagina so far open that it ripped into her asshole.

Chrissy must just sit there all day waiting for an excuse to talk about herself. Here are her disgusting tweets that you will regret reading after you visualize the size of her gaping torn up vagina asshole combo.

Tags: chrissy teigen

Steve Martin Back On The Banjo

March 23, 2020 | Celebs | Shot Dunyun |

Steve Martin isn’t just a great actor but he’s also an amazing musician, he’s been playing the Banjo since he was 17 and has released multiple albums and done a ton of touring. He is one of the best banjo players ever and he took to twitter to show us what he calls “Banjo Balm” and it’s pretty great.

If only he released this prior to all those idiots singing that Imagine song, this makes a way better anthem for the end of the world.

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Chinese Police Are Living in 2050

March 20, 2020 | News | Shot Dunyun |

China has been quick to adapt to the ever changing times during this global pandemic, they were the first to have the virus run through their communities and found ways to try and limit the spread like using robots to deliver food and medication in hospitals and to take the temperature of ill patients.

Now police in China have been equipped with futuristic helmets to help them detect Corona Virus carriers. The helmets have a built in infrared camera that can take the temperature of someone from 5 feet away, as well as facial recognition technology so they can track people better than ever before. China is already in 2050 and we’re all fucked.

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Evangeline Lilly Wants to Kill her Father

March 19, 2020 | Celebs | Shot Dunyun |

Evangeline Lilly is that bitch from the show LOST which I have never watched but was apparently about the afterlife and spoiler alert – they were all dead the entire 6 years that the show ran. She was also in the HOBBIT movies for all the nerds out there.

Apparently she has some sort of immunodeficiency or claims to have something wrong with her and her father, who she lives with, is also compromised because he has stage 4 leukaemia, but she isn’t worried about catching COVID-19. She’s been out and about dropping her kids off at Gymnastics Camp and refusing to self isolate.

She obviously wants to kill her dad so before they all die of the Corona Virus here are some slutty pics of her to RIP to. She also shaved her head recently so she’s already dead to me.

Tags: evangeline lilly

Seth Rogan Live Tweets CATS While Stoned

Canadian actor Seth Rogan is a known stoner, so he got high and watched the Razzie Award Nominated CATS movie. These are his remarks:

I’m pretty stoned and watching Cats. I’ve never seen the broadway show. It is truly trippy. Am I supposed to know what a Jellicle is? They’ve said it 200,000 times but I don’t know what’s happening haha.

Also the scale is bizarre. The behind the scenes features, which are amazing, said the set is 2.5 times scale but that would mean cats are like 60 pounds in real life!

They made them go to cat school.

The mice!?!?!?!?!?!!?

These cats are like 2 feet tall in this world. That’s a huge fucking cat.

This is so “Broadway funny”.

Some cats in pants. Some no pants.

“Let’s make 35 nonsense songs introducing cats!” – The makers of cats.

They move so funny.

Jason Derulos feet don’t look like they’re touching the ground.

Judi Dench is in a cat fur coat which I can only assume is socially APPALLING in this world.

I have a hard time getting actors to rehearse for like 20 mins. They got these people to train to lick their hands and rub them in their hair for weeks!!!

WHAT IS JELLICLE?!,!?

Their tales are dancing.

CG cat people dancing is odd. Is it impressive? I don’t know!

These cats are straight up wearing white chuck taylors!!!

Did they commission little chucks from the cat shoe maker?
How many times they say the word “cat” in a this?

Ian Mckellan just straight up has normal fingers.

“Do it more like a cat!” – the director of cats.
“You sure it’s not weird?” – actor in Cats.
“Nah fam it’s fucking genius! People have loved this shit for decades! It’s perfect!”

“Yeah I’m a cat but I tap dance so I’m gonna need to commission some tiny tap shoes.”

These cats love to mess up a made bed.

Oh the cats of the railway train! Fucking finally!

Wide Awake!!!!! Ahaha
Some cats get high heels which is funny to picture in real life.

A lot of neon lights at knee height in London in the 30’s.

Is the milk bar for humans??! For cats? Is this in Clockwork Orange world? Huh?

Judi dench looks the most cuddly.

Is magic cat a thing?

“The Theater Cat!” Let’s intro another fucking cat!!!

Like why even make these actors show up on set? They’re playing cats.

Some cats get high heels which is funny to picture in real life.Out of respect, I’ll leave Idris out of all this.

Now they’re on the railroad tracks they seem way too small!!!

Alright I’m turning this off and watching 90 day fiancé. Good night. Stay clean as fuck.
If you all enjoy commentary on terrible movies (and it seems you do), I recommend you spend some self isolation time listening to hands down my favorite podcast, HOW DID THIS GET MADE? in which truly hilarious comedians dissect truly awful movies. Enjoy.

Norman Reedus Stocks Up on Potato

March 18, 2020 | Celebs | Shot Dunyun |

Norman Reedus got with german actress Diane Kruger 4 years ago, after she left her boyfriend Joshua Jackson after 10 years together. Diane almost imidentely got knocked up by the Walking Dead actor and they live in New York together with the baby. Norman has a 20 year old son named Mingus who he had with Helena Christensen, but Mingus must be self isolating somewhere else.

I guess Diane sent Norman out to get supplies and provisions for their family self isolation, and he came back with these two big boxes of potatoes. While it’s smart of him to stock up on vegetables that keep longer, like sweet potatoes which will keep up to 2 weeks, Kruger was not pleased with what he brought home and exposed him on Instagram with a photo of their baby and the haul saying:

‘I don’t think he understood the concept of two weeks worth of non perishable foods,
#whenyouletyourboyfriendgogroceryshopping.’

Norman Reedus Stocks Up on Potato

What are y’all stocking up on for the COVID-19 quarantine ?

Tags: diane kruger