Spice up your Halloween with these sexy links including Bebe Rexha’s rack, Victoria Sinitsina’s nip slip, and an in-depth look at the sex and nudity of Dario Argento’s films!
Keep the week rolling with sexy links including Nina Agdal underboob, Delilah Belle Hamlin lip slip, and this week’s nudity filled DVD and Blu-ray releases!
Amy Schumer is currently baking Damien inside of her old ovaries, and her first trimester might be getting to her already. Or, she’s the same delusional runaway Thanksgiving parade Miss Piggy float that she’s always been. Either way. Her crazy is showing hard in a new near-indecipherable Instagram caption that touches on black people, slaves, inequality, misspelled diet alcoholic beverages, the NFL, Old Navy, and Yahoo Sports hosts.
Where to start. Schumer posted a screen grab of an exchange she had with Perez Hilton. He mentioned her waning career in a comment pimping some tragic podcast. Hilton didn’t “@” Schumer. Also, we checked, because this is basically Spotlight, and she’s not following the #AmySchumer hashtag on Instagram, which he did include in his comment. So how did Schumer know that Hilton posted about her? The thirst monster follows fucking Perez Hilton. A recent string of flops hasn’t left Schumer with a hell of a lot to do on a Monday, and, presumably, she actually listened to enough of this podcast to formulate a strong, although verbose, reaction. Which reads like a lazily-themed NFL word search:
People going on and on about how much you don’t care about my stance on the nfl sure are talking about it a lot. Instead of being critical of me, i have a crazy idea, how about you trying doing something, anything to help the gross inequality in our country. My contribution is so useless to you guys? Then Why don’t you make one. Do something. Did you know slaves are mentioned in our anthem? Well look it up you snarky trolls. I did an old navy campaign one year then a bud lite campaign the next. This year I said I wasnt up for doing any because I am horrified by the violence and treatment of people of color in our country. It’s a small way of putting my money where my tiny mouth is. The fuck are you gonna do? Step up. Goes for you too yahoo sports hosts who I’ve met. For someone you care so little about you sure do like to talk about me a lot. I think you like me what are you doing to help? I’m doing a lot more than this. But what a great message we could send if other artists passed on any super bowl exposure too. If my act of protest makes you feel attacked. That’s about you
My takeaway is that the “bud lite” isn’t working. What’s yours?
(Also, I just realized that her NFL kneeling queef fest continues here. It’ll have you kneeling… in front of the toilet.)
Photo Credit: Instagram
Today’s Blind Item star has a passion for fashion. And sex and cocaine. There’s been a recent outbreak of A lister offspring, and this Blind Item truly could be any one of them. But mostly Paris Jackson. Or Lily-Rose Depp. Or Kaia Gerber. Or, ya, anyone.
It has been far too long since I had a good coke at a fashion show blind and even longer since I had a sex at a fashion show blind. This week I got both of them from the same person. I can barely contain my excitement. The celebrity offspring of a permanent A++ lister was the coke user and one of the people having sex.
Photo Credit: Instagram / Paris Jackson
More importantly than telling us your favorite candy – which is fucking important – let’s first talk about the fact that the person on the left in the photo above taken in 2011 is Kylie Jenner. That person. Is Kylie Jenner. The person on the right is simply identified as a mid-tier sex worker.
All of this brings us to candy. This Halloween Americans will spend roughly $9 billion on Halloween candy. And as consumers, we have a choice in how we want to feel good for a five-second rush, and then shitty for five hours. And then have fiery candy poops. What’s your candy of choice?
That person. Is Kylie Jenner?
Photo Credit: Getty Images
As far as I can tell, I’ve never posted a Would You Hit It on Pamela Anderson. But I did post one on Chrissy Metz for some reason. I’ve got problems. We all know that. Pamela Anderson is so used up that a Hefty bag filled with dicks could go as her for Halloween with minimal effort, yet she keeps on being able to live with herself, which is more inspiring than most give it credit for. You look in the mirror and see a dying drag queen, but you still go through with another day? Should have used this for #mondaymotivation.
Anderson has spent far too much time and money on the various iterations of her tits to not show them off well into her eighties, and in a new gif, we can see them popping out of her jacket. So many questions. With the main one being – would you hit it?
Photo Credit: Instagram
Ever since lending her sloppy tit balls to the industry-leading magazine read by four people – Composure – Ariel Winter has kept a pretty low profile. Which, at three feet tall, comes naturally to her. But now our sloppy starlet is back with a sort of sexy z-list gym workout #ad pimping Mack Fit. It’s hot in that sort of bored-to-death-on-a-Thursday-afternoon kind of way.
For as much as people want to make fun of Ariel Winter for being a human glory hole, I maintain that her body is oddly toned – or maybe smooth is the word – and until she hits her expiration date in four and a half minutes, I’ll keep posting about her. People like to say that yoga pants are God’s gift to mankind. And while that sentiment is a little extreme for this video of Winter doing leg lifts, her tan (a color known to drive men wild) asscrack flossers aren’t bad. Not great. But not bad. Do with this what you damn wish.
Photo Credit: Instagram
Kendall Jenner recently bitched about TMZ’s mishandling of sensitive celeb information, but did she ever stop and think about the mishandling of information by notorious celeb site chicagopreview.com, or WWTDD for that matter? No. Because she’s stupid. Kanye West has been teasing his Midwestern return as Chicago’s prodigal bipolar gay rapper son, and it looks like he might have chosen to settle in the blindingly white ritzy suburb of Naperville, IL. Kim Kardashian will have plenty in common with the local housewives as they are also botched and dead on the inside.
I received an email from a reader with a link to a post in something called Preview Chicago that not only hints at Kanye’s Naperville abode, but also gives out his exact address. This could very well be bullshit – and would be a good ploy from a realtor looking to generate interest in a multimillion-dollar property – but Kanye is just insane enough and this house is just tacky enough to make the situation seem plausable.
This past Thursday Kanye barged into a local Naperville Mexican with eight bodyguards in tow, so we know he’s been scoping the area. Anyway, the house in question cost $6,799,000 and can be found at 28W660 Perkins Ct, Naperville, IL 60564. You can see more pics of it HERE. If this turns out to be right, I better get cyberbullied by Kendall Jenner.
Photo Credit: VHT Studios / @properties
Make your Tuesday sexier with these hot links including Ariel Winter’s boobs, Padma Lakshmi topless, and the week’s best nudity-filled DVD and Blu-ray releases!
Here’s a rule of thumb. And this applies to everyone besides Sarah Silverman, so listen up. If an otherwise platonic friend asks to blow his dick wad in front of you, have a serious either heart-to-heart about your friend’s mental state, question the signals you give off to your friends, or run for the goddamn hills. Again, this hot tip of the day doesn’t apply to Sarah Silverman, who just admitted to Howard Stern that she often acquiesced when her comedy BFF Louis C.K. asked for permission to fish around in his FUPA juices for his dick before rubbing one out in front of her horny face:
I’ve known Louis forever, I’m not making excuses for him, so please don’t take this that way. We are peers. We are equals. When we were kids, and he asked if he could masturbate in front of me, sometimes I’d go, ‘F— yeah I want to see that!’ … It’s not analogous to the other women that are talking about what he did to them. He could offer me nothing. We were only just friends. So sometimes, yeah, I wanted to see it, it was amazing. Sometimes I would say, ‘F—ing no, gross,’ and we got pizza.
“It was amazing?” You were sexually assaulted, you dumb bitch. Wonder how many times Bella Thorne has heard that. A look in the mirror tells me that I don’t have great taste in men, but I’d hope that ugly fat bald ginger sex offenders aren’t edging me out in the game of love. In what world would watching Louis C.K. jack off be “amazing?” This barf-worthy jizzy friendship explains why Silverman stuck her neck out for C.K. during #MeToo’s McCarthyism peak. She continued during her Stern interview:
I’m not saying what he did was okay. I’m just saying at a certain point, when he became influential, not even famous, but influential in the world of comedy, it changes. He felt like he was the same person, but the dynamic was different and it was not okay. I’m not saying everyone should embrace Louis again. I believe he has remorse. I just want him to talk about it on stage. He’s going to have to find his way or not find his way.
They know not what they splooge. Unless he’s handicapped, Louis C.K. should understand the difference between jacking off in front of a whore back in the day and jacking off in front of at least five unknown chicks as an established comedian. We age. Power dynamics change. These are simple things. Conversely, those unknown chicks should have understood not to go to a hotel room with a man they didn’t intend on getting molested by. Stranger danger. Safety in numbers. Simple things. I guess the main takeaway today is that if you ever get desperate enough, you can always masturbate in front of Sarah Silverman. So guys, if you ever see her around, you know what to do.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News