Virtual Signalling Gold

You know how Vegas gives odds on everything to do with the Superbowl, like the final score, first turnover, length of the national anthem, etc.? They oughta set odds for which social issue each athlete will spout off during the Summer Olympics, and the over/under on their virtue-signaling rant.

Aussie swimmer Medaline Groves just dropped out of The Games due to pressure from “misogynist perverts”; in the past she’s complained about inappropriate comments from a “well-known coach”. These coaches’ (men?) behavior is boorish and demeaning – but are you telling us that a professional swimmer has never encountered the Male Gaze in her entire career? She just realized some pigs are only looking for skin? (And if you think this only happens to girls, think of how many women (and men) stared at Michael Phelp’s package when he crawled outa the pool).

This is only the beginning of the what sb an Olympics of Outrage and Shaming, and we pity pious Japanese officials trying to get the winners to the podium without long speeches about the patriarchy, BLM, Palestine, Trump (for and against), migrants, poverty, Gamergate, New Coke, etc, etc.

In the NBA, if you don’t wanna “shut up and dribble” there are 82 games for Lebron to express his opinion – or not – you’re allowed to just talk about, you know, Sports. These Olympic SJWs – most of which we’ve never heard of – will wake up in their exceptionally clean athletes village and think “I only have this one chance to tell the world about the suffering of cuttlefish” and we all have to endure it.

Yall is gonna havta promise – PROMISE – to not watch women’s swimming, diving, volleyball, javelin, etc. for the T&A. I’m taking the Over on this one.

Story By: USA Today

Judge Kim Kardashian

June 11, 2021 | Celebs | Media Man |

Instead of taking the low road – which would be chalking news that Kim K failed her “baby bar” exam again, bc she’s an idiot – let’s recognize her lofty goals and unselfish ambition.

Like many people, we knew when we first saw Kim laid out in grainy videos, and oiled up naked on obscure websites, and riding Kayne on his motorbike – this is the kind of person that would someday petition the Supreme Court on prisoners’ rights. Or like me, when she posed in too-small swimsuits or slutty Disney costumes, you probably pictured her in judges’ robes, or perhaps wearing that poofy white wig of an English barrister.

Perhaps it was the time she wore $1 billion in jewelry while vacationing in the south of France that we all realized: this humble heroine will be the voice of the oppressed, the unjustly accused, the Little People; that Kim is a Womyn who will put down her trophy children to study for a grueling bar exam, and no Man can stand in her way (except for her PR manager, divorce lawyer, webmaster, Twitter writer, and maybe the pastry chef).

We knows you is “totally bummed” Kim – keep reaching for the stars, we’ll keep fapping.

Tags: kim kardashian

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Salary Equity is Not Enough Anymore

June 8, 2021 | ATHLETES | Media Man |

Belarusian tennis star Victoria Azarenka – yeah, I guess that’s a thing – told the French Open that it’s fine that women tennis players are paid the same as men, but that’s not good enough – wtf?

Seems it’s more shibby to play night games or something, and women are being disrespected by the scheduling of the tournament v. men. Also the showers are kinda icky, and could someone come by and clean them up, like they do on the men’s side ffs?

The never-ending path of feminist appeasement, coupled with the entitlement of professional athletes, has lead communist Azarenka to slag off on whatever boils her potato – AFTER losing out of the tourney. The Interwebs quotes her disdain on “everything aside from the prize money” – wtf else matters?

Maybe she wants more late games to facilitate her escape from Putin’s puppet state? Here’s an idea – maybe instead of flapping your upperlips at the press squeezer, when you fly back to Belarus (average annual salary 15K) – if that’s allowed – you can hand out part of the million Euros you’re pocketed to the other bitches working the factories.

Story By: Fox Sports

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Angel Atiana

June 7, 2021 | Celebs | Media Man |

What do you call a retired Mexican boxer who’s worth over $200 million? We don’t give a ff – not when you can eyeball Oscar’s 22 yo daughter Atiana De La Hoya

We should have seen this coming – latino tough-guy twinkie pins down (former) model Shanna Moakler, and 2 decades later smokeshow Atiana hits the Gram. Moakler has gone Full Tramp now (whodathunk) but worth a peek back in time, and Oscar still seems to have his brain intact (a major achievement for a professional boxer), despite some potholes – alcohol, womanizing, accusations of abuse – standard celebrity shit.

But Atiana is starting to climb the charts, with dark eyes and long hair and an Absent Daddy who will surely overcompensate to upgrade whatever parts need upgrading.

We don’t want her to pickup Mama’s whoring, and certainly not Dad’s career; and she has to be careful living on the edge of the Kardashian blackhole (via stepdad’s new gf, or something) – but we think a few nudes like Mom will help.

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Female Sex is Good Press

June 3, 2021 | News | Media Man |

Love the story of the Danish “reporter” who banged her way to her publication deadline (link below) about “swingers clubs” in Copenhagen… are they really still called “swingers club”, in a Sixties, Austin Powers kinda way? Shouldn’t the Danes have adopted a germanic version like Porkenhausen or Ballzendamen?

Soze this “newswoman” determined the best way to report on sex at a club with a stranger was to lay into it headfirst – good thing she wasn’t investigating chemical poisons or deadly insects (YouTube has that covered). (There’s a whole other topic on women who’ve wandered into Syria or climbed volcanos under the guise of “journalism” and gotten their asses kicked, that we’ll save for another day).

Yet again notice how a woman having sex for profit – even a frizzy, European slut – is seen as cute and naughty and empowering. If a swarthy, squat man was to take on this assignment – say Paul Giamatti punctured an opportunistic milf for a story on menopause – the Media would render it as abusive and crude and paternalistic.

In no way is Big Media suggesting Miss Fischer’s act is whoring or immoral or illegal – just a woman going the extra few inches to get her story. Now if she was holding a handgun while getting railed, or wearing black-face or a Monsanto hat – that would be clickbait.

Story By: barstool sports

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The Joy of Bachelorhood

June 2, 2021 | Celebs | Media Man |

Everyone knows the way to win on The Bachelor (or the Bachelorette, you slut) is not at the final episode, but how much you tap behind the scenes.

Ex The Bachelor Nick Viall (isn’t he still technically a “bachelor”?) gets this, and has rolled up with new beard Natalie Joy, and kudos man. (The picture in US Weekly says it all )

We don’t know much about the show since we only watch when our gf has it on – sorry dudes, it’s a Woman’s Show – but we know a rocket when we see one, and Joy is what her name says.

Looks like there’s other honeys on the show, but if I wanted over-lit soft-porn I’d head to SexArt rather than network television. The whole enterprise reminds us of the first 20 minutes of “Wedding Crashers”, where Owen Wilson and Vince Vaugh score a buncha pre-romanced bridesmaids and move on.

Noted – well played Viall, keep doing what you do best.

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Know Your Ashleys

June 1, 2021 | Celebs | Media Man |

Deadline and others are reporting that Ashley Greene has been cast in the upcoming flick “The Retirement Plan” alongside Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Ron Fox, and others. It’s a story of a young woman who gets caught up in criminal activity blah blah blah – you had us at “Ashley Greene”.

This petite, no-longer-young effy was one of the best parts of the whiny “Twilight” series, and made her name painted nude in ads and my dreams. She also had a small role in “Bombshell” but few noticed – a movie about Big Media corruption and sexism is as ground-breaking as one exposing corruption in college sports.

Don’t forget – we’re talking about Ashley GREENE not Ashley GRAHAM, who is also cute in an IMAX sorta way. If you wanna fap to something lithe and elfin, go with Greene, but if your preference is something Costco size with heart-disease in the future, Graham is worth a tug.

Tags: ashley greene

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Best Sleep Ever

May 24, 2021 | News | Media Man |

The two New York guards who supposed to watch sos Jeffrey Epstein in August, 2019, fell asleep, and (we suspect) the Hand of God descended into his cell and Epstein caught the dirt bus. For some reason, this is a crime – sleeping on the job near a known pedophile – and the guards lied like an Iranian missile commander to cover their tracks. What were they supposed to do, wander in in the middle of the night and beat the living shit out of him?

Also no, but Epstein is gone and these 2 were arrested and pleaded to “community service” according to Politico and others. They get “deferred prosecution”, no jail-time, and need to cooperate with an investigation into why this rich bitch was allowed to opt-out.

In a stand-up world, the judge would have given the guards a parade and some coupons to Chick-Fil-A. Think how much time and money they saved the DA, taxpayers, and Epstein’s stanky rich estate on immoral lawyers’ fees. If their community service includes picking up garbage on your block, be sure to carry them on your shoulders, or at least get them some jimmies on a hot day.

Too bad the courts didn’t assign a fine, bc the GoFundMe page to cover it would hit 7 figures.

Story By: Politico

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Diversity in Infinite Dimensions

The rainbow makes for a good visual metaphor of diversity, but best not to look too closely at the lines – they blur more than Progressives think, and in social media where you’re either for us or against us, there’s no room for insensitive fact.

This is daily news in Hollywood today – who’s offended by what skin color in what production. Big Media paints this as a zero-sum issue – Oscars So White, Unseen Latinas, Asian-American disrespect – as if a few casting changes, in FRONT of the camera, will make cinema and pop-culture by proxy more diverse. That Old White Men have dominated movie and TV production for decades is without a doubt, but random promotions based on a technicolor scale is untenable.

The latest debate comes from Amazon’s wildly expensive “Lord of the Rings” series, where actor Ludi Lin complained about the lack of “characters that look Asian” in the production. It’s somehow a shock to some that pale Englishman JRR Tolkien didn’t paint his imaginary world with all the colors of the rainbow, and that Amazon needs to fix this issue. If Lin is trying to win his SJW badge, he forgot to point out that the LOTR cast is bereft of Mexicans, Africans, East Indians, and Eskimos.

And that’s the problem for Hollywood – how thin do you slice the diversity pie? If Amazon puts a black woman in the cast, does she represent all of Africa? Did Tolkien leave room for gay characters in his narrative? And can one Chinese person represent all of southeast Asia e.g. Japan, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, etc.?

The beleagured Hollywood Foreign Press isn’t precisely representative of the population of the planet (e.g. 16% African), so can they truly speak for moviegoers around the world? Artists say movies should represent society – does anyone in SoCal realize that films made in China, Thailand, Hong Kong, Bollywood, etc., have 0 concerns about misrepresenting Blacks (or Whites) in their films? Why is this only an American cinema issue?

The truth was exposed during production of 2009’s “Star Trek” remake, when Hollywood was called out for casting Korean John Cho in the role of Lt. Sulu, who’s Japanese on the original series. 12 years later, we still can’t thread the needle of infinite diversity – not because Hollywood hasn’t tried, but because it’s impossible.

Truthers Assemble

May 13, 2021 | Celebs | Media Man |

It may sound sodd that drug-addled “singer” Demi Lovato has been tapped to host a show about UFO conspiracies, but it’s really a lateral move for her – for years Lovato has been living on another planet, where constant drug-use has no consequence, sexuality is redefined weekly, and you’re a victim from the time you put on Mickey Mouse ears until you slide into an early grave.

Variety says she’ll host “Unidentified with Demi Lovato” with sister and noted Ufo-ologist Dallas Lovato on Peacock, yet another streaming service desperate to climb Peak TV. It could be subtitled “Conspiracies for Toddlers” given the cast and scope – look for any number of BigFoot experts to lean in bc ratings.

We’re not saying aliens don’t exist, but what exactly is Lovato going to do for First Contact – lipsynch an AutoTuned song? Introduce them to her PR team? Chub a few lines? We’re sure Peacock is hoping the visitors are green or blue, so Lovato and other SJW can shout-out another color that Matters.

Story By: Variety

Tags: demi lovato

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