Feminists v Supply and Demand

Forbes just released their list of highest-paid actors for 2019, with Dwayne the Rock Johnson, Ryan Reynolds, and Mark Wahlberg landing top bank. Man-boy Adam Sadler makes the list, as do several non-caucasian actors – so we’ve got that covered.

Forbes will wait a month before releasing the highest-paid Actress list, with Scarlett Johansson expected at #1 north of $60 million – and that’s before she cashes in on “Black Widow” residuals. Johansson and forever buxom Sofia Vergara and feminist Reese Witherspoon would crack a list of the 10 richest PEOPLE – that doesn’t sound like wage disparity to me. What happens if Scarlett tops the list – like Mary Pickford, Barbara Streisand, and other women have done throughout Hollywood history – is the battle for wage equity over? Where do millionaires and queenpins Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez, and Oprah fit in – does Katy Perry need to pay alimony to Orlando Bloom?

If so, its urgent feminists and other Woke Womyn pivot to that other stronghold of beauty and well-lit photography: modeling. Because last we checked, Kylie Jenner was closing in on $200 million annually, and still-supple Gisele Bundchen clears $20 million without a Superbowl ring. American Sean O’Pry – I’ve never heard of him either – can only afford non-flavored Perrier as the top male model at $1.5 million a year.

This sexist disparity can’t go on any longer – square-jawed, gay men are being paid a fraction of what their counterparts are on the runways of Milan and Paris, for the same work.

Either there’s a double-standard, or just maybe, people are being paid what the market demands. For reasons that escape those with a reasonable IQ, more people want to see Dwayne Johnson on-screen flexing and scowling than the delectable Margot Robbie in any fashion (pun!). By the same measure, more WOMAN will click on articles featuring yummy Miranda Kerr than some dude with a $500 haircut and $40,000 watch.

John Legend isn’t fretting that his potty mouth, rotund wife Chrissy Teigen pulls more green than him – if he can look past this sexist industry, can’t we all?

Story via FORBES

How about some pics of those ladies(not Chrissy Teigen)

Miley Cyrus is Shocking – Yawn

Future trainwreck Miley Cyrus is ready to release her new album this week, which should thrill her fans: ex-teenage girls, her 112 million IG followers (!), and any men interested in slutty, tatted former hillbillies. The album is sure to be an introspective, timeless rumination on … jk, she’ll try to imitate Lady Gaga however her countrified record producer wants.

The problem for Cyrus’ career is what happens next. Her handlers – or worse, her swarthy father – never told her that Shocking is only the start of your pop-culture ascension, and doesn’t work in Season 3 Just ask Madonna, Marilyn Manson, or Ocasio-Cortez – after awhile, shocking and counter-shocking aren’t click-bait. Christina Aguilera has that big voice (and big guns), Lady Gaga has her LGBTQ army, Arianna Grande remains haf – but what does Miley have to build on, other than conquering the Skank throne?

The Young Singing Tart playbook says to start your career with over-sexualized videos and posts, dating threatening and unconventional men, and partying like the coin is never going to stop rolling in. Embrace your feminist side (where profitable), jump from cause to cause (“Help the Kidnapped African Girls!” “Don’t Kill Lions!” “Leave Crimea Alone!”) to foster disciples, and try to be a presenter at the Grammys or (if necessary) the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards.

Chapter 2 is a sincere rejection of your hedonistic lifestyle for religion, monogamy, and a sensible dog. Tell the entertainment press (and your followers) that you’ve outgrown these childish ways – because they have too! – and you’ve found a new way that coincidentally translates onto catchy, ghostwritten lyrics and sound-bite slogans that emblazon your merch.

But no-one told Cyrus what happens if your Newfound Religion doesn’t take – you can’t go back to rubbing your 30 yo ass against Robin Thicke, who has likewise been forgotten. And although your followers will surely dl your new album – or at least stream it – they won’t follow you to your next new cause, bc it won’t be new to them anymore.

Godspeed to your first OD-cry-for-help young Cyrus; in the meantime, here’s some picts …


Tiger Loses; Janet Gretzky Wins

I don’t understand Sports Media’s ongoing obsession with Tiger Woods. Each tournament its “Tiger hits the bunker on 7” and “Tiger drains 12 foot put” and “Tiger changed his shoes” etc. There’s more coverage on what club Tiger uses on the driving range than the guy who actually won the tournament.

I get it, golf is an individual game, and Tiger and Dustin Leonard and Bubba (wtf?) win or lose on their own. But there’s more than 1 player on the course and the guy who ties for 37th ain’t stashing cheddar. It’s like saying Patrick Mahomes won the Superbowl even though spousal-abuser Tyreek Hill actually took the ball into the endzone… okay, bad example.

Tiger is a great golfer and always will be, like Jack Nicklaus great, but that’s the point – Jack isn’t going to make the cut on the next PGA event either. If Joe Montana was to strap on the pads and pickup a football, ESPN would run headlines “Monster Returns to NFL” – I’d pick the “under” on that game.

The real takers are the WAGs, and last weekend that was Katherine Zhu (hot gf of champ Collin Morikawa), followed by Pollyanna Woodward (hot wife of runner-up Paul Casey), and of course smoke-show Janet Gretzky, who’s husband Johnson banked $900K. If you want to google-oogle Wood’s ex Elie Nordegren, or ex gf Lyndesy Vonn go ahead – I stick with the winner’s beard.

Story via CBS

Here’s some pics of Katherine Zhu!

Can I be Meghan Markle’s Concubine?

Big Media is trying to place a fishbowl over erstwhile dame Meghan Markle like they did dollie Princess Diana years ago. Markle is constantly in the news suing English tabloids, voicing animated characters in Hollywood, fighting racism, retreating and then fleeing Canada, etc. The Media exploitation of Meghan is not yet at full throttle as it was with Diana, where which hand she used to slap Prince Charles was scrutinized like the moon landing.

But I think it’s important when discussing Markle’s progressivism, merits as wife and mother, and role within the Royal Family, that we don’t lose sight of what a milf she is. Sure, she seems capable of great womanly achievements, but how would she look today in one of those tight blouses she wore on “Suits”?

Meghan, I’ll happily watch your webcasts and support you helping the homeless – but can you bite your lip a bit while doing it? Maybe more cleavage? We’re lucky such a hunny has taken on the position of Royal Pin Cushion – because who would you rather watch in their virtual signaling, Meghan or Amy Schumer? Once Madison Beer learns to emote, I’ll donate to whatever cause she wants me to.

STORY VIA TheProvince

Here are some pics of her on Deal or No Deal, from Gameshow Body to Princess, the masterful story of Markle.

Cameron Diaz Checks Out

August 7, 2020 | Gossip | Media Man |

It’s strange to find an actress that’s not vacuous and overtly self-righteous, which you would assume from anyone willing to sit-down with Gwenyth Paltrow. Cameron Diaz displayed a rare bout of self-awareness in a recent interview, having realized what us himbos know as fact – that actors are coddled, irresponsible, and impersonal. On the Rainbow of Actor Awareness & Accountability, you have Charlize Theron (by all accounts) on the Functional end, Ellen on the other, with Diaz moving up the scale.

Although she’s selling wine – Hollywood types are always moving something – Diaz isn’t trying to save the pandas nor crying about a racial act that was funny at the time. Of course it’s easier to “take care of yourself” after your early 20s implants netted you millions of dollars and a mansion in Beverly Hills, but kudos for realizing you can only shake your ass for a limited time (yo, Jenny from the Block!).

Her message of “leave me alone” is refreshing compared to Goopy Paltrow, who’s sins against Men and reality have been well documented on this page. When Diaz says “actors are infantilized” it’s an apology – for Paltrow, it’s an aspirational goal.

Story CNN

Here are some pics!


Sean Penn is a Hero to Us All

When Sean Penn dies he may want to have his dick bronzed – he’s pulled down more premium candy than Ryan Reynolds and all the Old Rich White Guys in Hollywood. Penn just let slip that he married attractive 3rd-tier actress Leila George (she’s 28 and Penn is 107), daughter of fellow stars Vincent D’Onofrio and Greta Scacchi. I wonder if their first thought was “couldn’t you get someone younger” or “couldn’t you get someone with more money?”

Despite looking like the Joker with an addiction to vaping, Penn has managed to tag:

– Italian nymphet Valeria Golino

– Robin Wright, back when she played doe-eyed babes instead of short-haired women with balls

– goddess Charlize Theron – not sure why anyone would move on from her

– Scarlet Johansson, the nerd’s top crush (albeit on the rebound)

– Madonna – yes children, Madge was once reasonably attractive, and at the time didn’t need the money

– Grammy Winner and pixie Jewel

– models Jessica White and Petra Nemcova – Google them and be impressed

The Rolling Stones are surely raising a glass of Viagra-laced milk to their fellow cradle napper.

Here is a video of her getting candy – which we can assume was how Sean Penn baited her into his van back at Vincent D’Onofrio’s 50th birthday party.

Here she is shooting because guys like girls with guns.

Here are some pics of his wife:

Mariah Carey Striving for Relevance

August 4, 2020 | Gossip | Tex Hollywood |

Always good to hear from Mariah Carey, to reaffirm the axiom that a fot woman with an amazing voice and Big Guns can get ahead in this world. If you wondered what an attention-whore old mare does when no-one wants to ride her anymore, check out her TikTok video.

There’s some buzz about her memoir coming out next month, which given her IQ will obviously be 90% ghost-written. You need a professional writer to expand Chapter 1 “Why I married Tommy Mottola” – at the time head of Columbia Records – beyond “for the money”. Eminem fans are preemptively rushing to his defense, in case Carey exposes his sexual shortcomings on the page (which he already has rapped up). I’m guessing Eminem wasn’t chosen to storm her cotton gin for the same reason Nick Cannon was.

But that’s the way things work in Hollywood – you cash in when you still have looks and everything points upward, so when it all goes down you can still polish the Grammys you earned on your hands and knees.

Don’t cry for Mottola – he traded up to Latino smoke-show Thalia a few years ago – the system works.



Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds Apologize for Plantation Wedding

August 4, 2020 | Celebs | Shot Dunyun |

Blake Lively married Canadian actor Ryan Reynolds back in 2012 at The Boone Hall Plantation & Gardens in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. They apparently picked the spot because it “provided the charm, elegance, and magic of past times” which sounds kinda crazy now that everyone is a social justice warrior.

The website for the venue actually bragged about having “eight original slave cabins” on the property, so it’s not like these two didn’t know what went on there before they picked the spot for their wedding. Anyway the BLM crowd put enough pressure on the couple for them to make a statement about it when asked in a recent interview by Fast Company.

He says the wedding is “something we’ll always be deeply and unreservedly sorry for. What we saw at the time was a wedding venue on Pinterest. What we saw after was a place built upon devastating tragedy.”

Nothing like making someone apologize for something 8 years later when they should have known better all along, give this guy another hit movie!


Florida Ravaged by Virus, Launch Interplanetary Rocket

A fun video of a Florida Woman coughing on a hater! She has since been arrested!

According to Big Media, the state of Florida set another record for pandemic deaths, cases, and old people complaining about the pandemic. Over the last month, Big Media has stoked Fear in Florida (hey, that would make a sensational headline!) by portraying the swampy state as a cesspool of disease and lawlessness. Oh, and they also launched a rocket to Mars.

In the battle to get clicks and swipes by sowing fear and outrage, someone in the Editorial department neglected to tell the soft-news team that NASA and Cape Canaveral are actually IN the Sunshine State. That slice of patriotism and American brains you’re selling is brought to you by the same rednecks that won’t wear a mask in, you guessed it, Florida.

How many people does it take to chuck a spaceship to another planet – 100? 1000? 10,000? How is it that Floridians – recently established in the news as sketchy, comatose zombies and country hicks – managed to cobble together enough brain cells to light-up this pinnacle of human achievement? Maybe Big Media isn’t telling the whole story, like when Ellen tries to explain who gets a backstage pass.

The truth is 17,000 people who work at NASA managed to escape the Stupid Virus that’s “scourging” the state of Florida – or got it and recovered – and with a population of 22 million, several thousand are bound to get sick with whatever drifts across the Atlantic. Hell, millions of them think the Seminoles will be a threat this year, and that false hope hasn’t stopped them from growing oranges or wrestling ‘gators.

But this isn’t the story Big Media wants to sell – no-one gets fat pushing facts or Good News. Try to enjoy without irony the furrowed brow of the pretty newscaster telling you Florida will soon be quarantined off like a John Carpenter movie – then lighting up 2 seconds later when the teleprompter carries big words like Perseverance and Ingenuity.

STORY VIA Miami Herald

Jeff Bezos Buys Another House

It’s been a busy few weeks for The Richest Man in the World, Jeff Bezos – purchasing another mansion, naming a hockey arena (only in Seattle is the name “Climate Pledge Arena” not pretentious), and testifying before a congressional subcommittee. According to Big Media, Bezos was “grilled” and asked “tough questions” about Amazon’s syndicate, under the “spotlight” of congressmen and women who probably needed their teenagers to tell them what Instagram is.

Bezos was contrite and “authentic” and ready to help – he also could have laughed maniacally and threatened to buy Congress and have everyone rolled down the Capitol steps. When your net-worth is north of $180 billion, it must be hard to give a shiz what sub-millionaires want.

There’s a reason why fellow godly rich technoweenie Mark Zuckerberg was played by Jesse Eisenberg in that Facebook movie – they needed someone adept at portraying a sniveling knob. In an Amazon movie, Bezos would be played by Russell Crowe, who also doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the affairs of mortal men. We all cower to men who could beat you in your own house or have it and your city and country burnt to the ground – just like the real Amazon.

One thing Bezos isn’t busy with is the pandemic, and before you ask what a technobillionaire knows about viruses and vaccines, keep in mind that 180 B can fund a lot of research, PPE masks, or those shaky things that test tubes sit in. Instead of buying lakeshore houses on a whim maybe hire 100 idle Portland protestors to drive around the south shouting “stay home!” out the window of their Smart Car. Dead anti-vaxxers can’t renew their Prime Account, Jeff!